I fail forward… Never backwards. Every experience has a moral/lesson attached to it.

What is an excuse?  My pastor regularly uses this quote “Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.”  ~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin

I took my driver’s road test today and failed.  I could use the excuse that it was raining cats and dogs here in New York.  Or the fact that the other student scheduled with me was talkative and nervous and overly excitable. Or that my DMV inspector decided to take a break just as we were preparing for our test.

I could actually use any of those excuses however they would not be pointing the finger to who really was at fault …me. Spiritually, mentally I was not prepared or focused for my exam. I am not going to sit here and beat myself up about it though, no means will that help me.  However I do know now the areas I need to work on more diligently with both my instructors; the Holy Spirit and my driving one.

I hadn’t exercised my prayer muscle in certain areas I should have; specifically my confidence and belief in knowing I have grace and that I have already ACED my test.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. – Mathew 7:7

The examination is only a formality.  I have a renewed passion in my stomach and can’t wait to take the test again!

A little history, before April of this year I had not been behind the wheel of a car for more than 10 years.  The last time I had attempted to learn to drive I was in a no fault car accident.  My back had been hurt and my teacher’s personal vehicle totaled.

To express my confidence in my ability to grasp driving had been a little shook would be an understatement.  I used to get anxious just with the idea of being behind a wheel.  With living in New York City; the city that made mass transit a model did not really help me either.  It actually allowed me to avoid having to drive.

Yet, God has always in my eyes has had a strange sense of humor.  Why do I say that? Well, he allowed me to grow in love and marry a man that at first lived in upstate NY; an area that requires you to have a car.   Also my husband works in a career (coaching football), which at times requires us to go to other non mass transit accessible locations and because he is currently the only driver has put some pressure on him.

With this all being said, I have also thought about the fact that now that I am married and technically a new person.  Attempting to pass my road test under my maiden name may just be futile because my past experiences are still attached to it.

By the time my next exam is scheduled my name change will be complete and the 10,000 angels versus the 1,000 ones I used to have before my husband and my union will truly be activated!

So, in closing I will master driving, not by myself but with my husband (through agreement) and the Holy Spirit as my co-pilot, teacher and peace.

© 2012 – 2013, Lela Jefferson Fagan. All rights reserved.

About Lela Jefferson Fagan

Lela Fagan (Jefferson) is the author of the book “Poetry of a Black Girl: The Darkness and the Light” and lead blogger at “Memoirs of a Black Girl”. Lela is an avid reader “A Real Bookworm” of all things in print. She finds joy in sharing socially and blogging about topics that matter the most to her. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. Lela now lives in Houston, TX with her husband Oji, an educator and Football Coach. @LelaJefferson - See more at: http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/

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