It’s Me Oh Lord, Standing in Need of Prayer

“Don’t focus on your weaknesses; focus on your God.” – Pastor Joel Osteen

Yesterday, I received a report about my health that essentially shook my world.  The news even came with pictures!  I am still trying to wrap my head around it. In a sense, I honestly can’t because if I do I will open a door for fear to enter in rather than let my faith to grow from within.

I think I can actually list what I am experiencing in the natural as the physical manifestation of things I know that have been going on in the spirit.  There are dreams and things that I was supposed to start years ago that have been blocked by my fears.  My dreams have been lying dormant for way too long.  If I do not do what is necessary to remove the blockage; they will never be able to get to develop properly and be birthed.  I have allowed some of my fears to calcify.  My fears at this point, I can’t even play with them.  They have to be eradicated, removed entirely in order for me to walk fully in the call of God for my life.   I have received warning signs in the past, but ignored them.  I used different diversions and “pain” killers rather than facing them head on and now I have no other choice, but to deal with the results of my neglect.  I take ownership of my truth; I am seeking God’s knowledge and trusting that in the end, he will be glorified.

There was something powerful that my husband said in the midst of all this.  He said that I had taken it for granted; what I hoped to happen. In essence, I had not prepared properly and yet still expected stellar results.  He is right.

There are many areas of my life I have done just that; taken for granted what I expected to occur.   I am not beating myself up about it, but I do know that junk stops now; here and now.  The picture has been planted in my spirit of what I want to be birthed, and I have to do my part to help it manifest.

My Prayer Today:

Thank you, Holy Spirit for giving me wisdom and guiding me along the process as we sojourn on this experience together.  Lord Jesus, I thank you for your grace, your patience and faith in me and most importantly for your cleansing and restoring blood! In you, I am perfect and complete without spot or blemish!

© 2013, Lela Jefferson Fagan. All rights reserved.

About Lela Jefferson Fagan

Lela Fagan (Jefferson) is the author of the book “Poetry of a Black Girl: The Darkness and the Light” and lead blogger at “Memoirs of a Black Girl”. Lela is an avid reader “A Real Bookworm” of all things in print. She finds joy in sharing socially and blogging about topics that matter the most to her. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. Lela now lives in Houston, TX with her husband Oji, an educator and Football Coach. @LelaJefferson - See more at: http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/

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