Essays

Proverbs 18:16 (Amplified Bible) ¹⁶A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men.

It has been a good challenge for me to decide what would be the first topic; I would blog about this year.  A lot has happen since my last posting.  I celebrated a birthday my 31^st, I began working in a new industry health care administration and officially graduated to the status of courtship with a man of valor; a friend I have known since my girlhood.

With all these new developments and responsibilities I had to begin the process of evaluating my priorities again.   Judge myself and see if the last things God told me to do, if I was still doing them with the same level of passion I had when they were first dropped in my spirit.  Or had I allowed other things to distract me from accomplishing my assignments.  Basically I asked myself have I been a faithful steward.

In short in some areas being very transparent, I have not been consistent.  The word consistency is defined by Webster to mean “1 a archaic: condition of adhering together: firmness of material substance b: firmness of constitution or character”.  Ironically, one of the points my Pastor taught during our Watch Night / New Year’s Eve service was in fact the importance of being consistent.  He let us know that his year having a steadfast mind will be one of the perquisites for obtaining the fullness of the blessing (the empowerment to prosper.)

Looking back at the last 12 months and at my I WILL statements for 2009, I can say I believe I have made good progress in areas such as being a better steward over my relationships with others professionally, personally and spiritually.  I have become more pliable and fearless out of necessity and a true desire to want to change my life for the better.

2009 was a year where God began pruning me.  I was like a tree with unruly branches that were bearing fruits of selfishness, a short temper and just plain fleshy behavior.   I had to go back to the basics in making sure I was getting in enough word and fellowship time with God (prayer) to balance any worldly attacks.  I had to humble myself and repent to those I may have hurt emotionally through the neglecting of their needs in my pursuit to guard myself from new hurts.  In short I had to get honest with myself and God.

So as I embark on this New Year 2010, the one question that I continue to replay in my head and I know I must answer is… “What was the last thing God told me to do?”

I am sure and I know that there will continue to be more pruning by God as he prepares me for the next phase.  He is preparing me to walk out my destiny in fulfill his ultimate purpose.

I DARE YOU… To begin to ask yourself similarly the question, WHAT WAS THE LAST THING GOD TOLD ME TO DO?  AM I STILL CONSISTENT IN FULFILLING IT? You may be surprised by the answer you receive back.

If you liked this feature and would like to share your own dreams, leave your comments now.

Lela Jefferson

http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Recently, I was given the opportunity to re-enter the workforce in a new industry from my former.  Previously, I worked in non-for-profit religious and before that direct marketing.  This new industry actually is one that has been around me my entire life.  Many of my relatives have worked in it or currently still do so.  That industry is healthcare.

The most important and awesome part about the experience is the opportunity came suddenly after a shocking self examination.  What I realized was that I had been neglecting (in my prayer time) the topic of gaining new employment.  In the natural, I was still being diligent calling my recruiters and applying for opportunities, reviewing my skill sets and working on clarifying my personal brand (online and offline.)

However, spiritually I had stopped thanking God for my new job in advance.  On the flipside, I had begun studying and confessing over my business ventures.  However, I needed to schedule more time for increase study including goal setting.  I was lacking balance and once I realized that and corrected it; it was less than 24 hours that I received a phone call about this new opportunity!

All this was realized when the workaholic in me began to be decoded.  Webster defines the word  ”workaholic” as being a person that is a compulsive worker and one of the definitions for the word “decoded” means to discover the underlying meaning.  The one thing that is powerful about prayer it is supposed to be a two way dialogue between you and God.  When you take the time to stop talking it is amazing what God can drop into your spirit.  For me, it was being shown why I had in the past always seemed so busy and why while I was working on projects, I was not able to close them out.

The Holy Spirit gently corrected and guided me through the process of an honest self assessment of how I had been managing my time.

• First I needed to be realistic with my schedule.  Remembering to put God first.  Giving him undivided time and focus; more than I had before.
• Not taking on new projects without first closing out current ones and consulting God in prayer about taking new ones.
• Re-learning how to and socializing offline with like minded people.
• Exploring my environment for new opportunities (neighborhood and community)
• Not second guessing when God has already given me peace in my spirit on projects that take me out of my comfort zone.
• Tapping into my personal networks, family, friends and former colleagues.   I now have mentors not just supporters.
• Truly seeing my life and myself as God sees me as someone and something that is precious and worthy to be loved, shared and shown appreciation.

Now getting back to the topic of this article the decoding of a former workaholic, my life during the last year has become more balanced.  Though my schedule on the outside looks fuller it is filled with manageable items.

No longer is work, my life it is a function or aspect of it.  I truly know and trust that God is my source and by living a balanced life; I am giving him the greatest of me really for the first time.  I know it is not his will to see me stressed out, cranky and snappy to those I love and care about.

Two questions I now constantly ask myself…

1. How can my spirit yield when called upon by the Holy Spirit if it is stressed?
2. Why should I hold onto concerns He/God has given me the okay to give to Him?

So as I continue to be decoded…

1. Leave work on time
2. Eat my lunch away from my desk
3. Take care of my physical (using my gym membership), mental and spiritual health
4. Foster my relationships
5. And most importantly believing by faith that God plus me is okay

I can confidently say I am a former workaholic that is being not only decoded but also re-invented and classified as passionate.

Lela Jefferson

http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

When I was a little girl, I had dreams of one day becoming first a ballerina, then a veterinarian, a civil rights attorney, a writer/poet, and finally a history professor.

My parents helped to shape those dreams by sending me to dance classes beginning at the tender age of three.  I was allowed to bring home my first pet, a stray kitten to nurse at age four.  With learning how to read, and write shortly thereafter my dreams were nurtured and expanded further through the books I borrowed from the public library with my 1^st library card at age five and composite books and plenty of writing utensils.

My point in all this is to say when we are young it is our parents and/or guardians’ responsibility to help positively shape our dreams; to provide us with the resources and tools to make them, obtainable through hard work, discipline and diligence.

Our heavenly father is no different.  He who birthed in us our desires, our dreams, left us a manual for life, that if we were only to read it, believe it and apply what we learn from it will receive all the promises he has set aside for us.  In it he tells us that we can go to him, and petition for his advice and guidance.  He left us the Holy Spirit and gave us Jesus his only begotten Son as shining example.  The manual but of course your might have already guessed it is the Bible.

Today, I would like for you to take a moment and think back when you were a little girl or boy to what your dreams were, are still in the process of chasing those dreams or because of life’s challenges have your abandon them for new ones? Or have you given up on dreaming all together?

If you have given up on your dreams; know this, every dream if it is good, is a gift from God and worthy of considering again.  By allowing yourself to dream you are allowing yourself to believe that what wonders God has in store for you are possible through faith.

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]– Ephesians 3:20 (Amplified Bible)

I DARE YOU… To begin to DREAM AGAIN TODAY!

If you liked this feature and would like to share your own dreams, leave your comments now.

Lela Jefferson

– http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

There is something about obeying that small voice of reason otherwise known as the Holy Spirit…

This past Saturday after attending church, I was led to go book shopping at Borders.  I had been debating for some time with myself about buying a Message Bible.  See for the past year when I did my home bible study, I would use the website Bible Gateway to look up the Message Bible translation of a verse for a deeper understanding.  My main reference translations have been the King James and Amplified up until then.   I was first introduced to the Message Bible by a minister from my church’s parent ministry during a service he taught us here in NY.

Fast forwarding back to the present, the message my pastor had taught on that evening had been on acting on the voice of God behind the word of God we hear or read.  The word I kept hearing as he was preaching was that it was time for me to get my Message Bible.  Being obedient I did get to Borders which is just outside of the venue where we had service that evening and proceed to go on upstairs where I knew the bibles was housed.

When I got upstairs, I actually almost missed the aisle of bibles.  They have them so far back in the store that I thought that they had relocated them somewhere else since the store is currently undergoing renovations.  When I did see the titles I saw there were several of them actually with funky book jackets in different colors, versions and formats.  The one that called to me; however was a parallel copy that included the TNIV (Today’s New International Version) with the Message REMIX that was in a convenient travel size.  The complete bible title in itself looked like a hardcover novel; that could easily fit in my day-to-day hand bag!

Ironically the bible was even priced less than the first one I looked at and included as I mentioned the Message REMIX which includes bible book introductions and general scripture references to do cross study.  Talk about favor!  Before leaving the store, however I was led again to see if one of the authors/poets I wanted to do a further study on collective works was in the store.

This brought me to one of the store’s kiosks, to check their inventory.  The poet I was looking for was Nikki Gionvanni.  Once it was confirmed that a collection of her works was indeed in the store by an associate I proceeded to go towards the downstairs escalators.  Upon reaching the main floor, my eyes were drawn to the clearance rack where I found a treasure for sure!

Just sitting there so sweetly was this volume called Poetry Speaks Expanded- Hear Poets Read Their Own Works from Tennyson to Plath. The volume itself includes 47 of the world’s most renown poets ever recorded complete with brief bio and essays written about them from living legend poets such as Sonia Sanchez and three CDs of the poets reading their own works.  The oldest recording is from the 1800s!  Originally priced at $49.99 now $9.99!!!

To make a long story short, I left the store with four titles; the fourth was a book for my pure leisure The Devil Wears Prada. A fifth book was purchased.  However, it was one donated to local charity that gives books to grammar school kids.  I was just blessed beyond measure with my selections and in the end was blessed to be a blessing. This was all because of being obedient to the voice I heard behind the message.

For your quick reference here is the purchase information for the books I bought:

• TNIV The Message Remix Parallel Bible – Zondervan
• Poetry Speaks Expanded – Hear Poets Read Their Own Works from Tennyson to Plath (Book w/ CDs)
• The Collected Poetry of Nikki Gionvanni 1968 – 1998 P.S. Insights, interviews and more…
• The Devil Wears Prada – Lauren Weisberger

Bible Gateway | A searchable online Bible in over 100 versions and 50 languages

– http://www.biblegateway.com

Lela Jefferson, © 2009 All Rights Reserved

http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Lord if the tongue is that of a pen of a ready writer…Let it not be me that, is the author, but you who is the author and finisher of my faith that speaks through me. That is my prayer today! Psalm 45:1

The above statement is one of my new daily confessions.  Though I have been saved and a Christian for a number of years.  I am just truly learning the lesson of how important it is to speak life, positively not only about others but also myself.  Too many times, because I have not wanted to put my hopes up too high I have downgraded the awesomeness of God and what he can do and has done for me.

What I mean by this is if he placed desires in my heart, he is not going to tease me with them.  He is going to put me on the path to obtaining them.  However I must have consistent faith, patience and put some sweat in.  As my mother used to say “There’s no free lunch.”  In short meaning I have to WORK towards achieving my goals.

The beautiful part about the whole thing is that know I am not alone.  Each time I speak life and equally give God his due and his praise. I am not only encouraging myself I am also bringing God into the mix.  I recently dug out my high school year book because I am reconnecting with many of my friends from that time period.  In it, I found not only funny pictures of my friends and myself, but also my first resume.

My first resume was already two pages long.  I am not trying to boast.  However it reminded me, that who I am today, is not too far off from who I was then character wise.   I still list as my hobbies a love for creative writing, dancing, singing, reading, helping others and a passion for leadership development.  The only differences between the Lela I was then and the Lela I am now besides no longer having dreads, actually enjoying wearing my glasses and my switch from totally militant afro-centric clothing is life has happen and doubt has tried to creep into my psyche.  The key word here is being has TRIED.

Where I am today is not necessary where I pictured myself, all those years ago.  However, I have no regrets.  My experiences the good and the bad have shaped me and brought me to the place where my reliance is not in my own works, but in God.  It’s kind of funny.  One of my good friends recently told me God had to slow me down for me to finally stop and listen to what he has been trying to tell me for years.  Which is again as my mom used to say…”If you do your best God will do the rest”.

I have put all my faith / trust on that statement and now have put it all to rest.  As I do my part I know that God is out there working on my behalf.  For as his daughter and one of his willing servants I can expect nothing less from him.  He has already shown me how much he loves me and he desires only the best for me most importantly thorough loving correction and rebuke.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

One of the definitions of the word “forward” is moving, tending, or leading toward a position in front. As a child of God and a joint heir with Christ; I will continue to do and say things that will show evidence that I am not the tail but the head. I choose to be tutored by the Holy Spirit and guided by my heavenly father’s love. My heart is to serve and through my servant-hood I will gain the more!

The words that come out your mouth have more power than you can ever imagine. They define you. The Bible says in Psalm 45:1 KJV “… my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” What you speak and confess over yourself and others has the ability to produce results. Your words are like seeds. Depending on the ground/person or situation you sow them into they can flourish or die. They can even come back to haunt you. So be careful of the words you use.

If you are not sure of their meaning use wisdom and pick up a dictionary. Make sure that the words that proceed from your lips are those that you want to stand as a living testimony of your life.

Here are few scriptures for you to mediate on:

2 Samuel 23:2 KJV – The Spirit of the LORD spake by me, and his word was in my tongue.

Job 5:21 KJV – Thou shalt be hid from the scourge of the tongue: neither shalt thou be afraid of destruction when it cometh.

Job 6:24 KJV – Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

Job 7:24 KJV – My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit.

Psalm 34:13 KJV – Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

Psalm 37:30 KJV – The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

Psalm 45:1 KJV – My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

(more…)

When I was a little girl I used to love blowing bubbles.  Just to imagine getting my little hands on a tube of soapy water and a bubble making wand would put a smile on my face.  I would run as the trail of bubbles followed me.  Attempt to beat my own biggest bubble record before having it burst gently on my nose.

Now, I am well passed my elementary school years, however I do still like to keep a tube of bubbles close by.  Why? Simply because I always want to remember those simpler times, when my only concerns were that I remembered to take a bath, brushing my teeth, and making my bed.  And oh yes not having my Mama figure out, that I had hidden another book underneath my bed to read after lights out.

So with my bubble making wand in my hand…I am taking a pause.  Remembering those simpler times again.

Tools I Use to Journal

• A notebook – Usually with a funky cover design with standard sized lines
• Writing instruments – A pen, pencil and/or markers
• A computer – With a word processing program
• Voice recorder – To capture my thoughts when I do not have any of the above handy
• Music and Movies to set the mood – I get inspiration a lot of times from watching and listening to inspirational teaching or music. I love music in general and if I know the song or have watched the show/movie before I can have it playing in the background just to make sure I have a secondary focus.

Why I Journal vs. Keep a Diary

Growing up I always thought if I kept a diary meant I would have to write in it every day.  My big sister Andrea purchased me a diary once and I think I wrote in it maybe three times (3) in the entire year that it was meant to record.

However when I was given a composition notebook by my dad that just had lines and told I could write, whenever and however and whatever I felt like and call it journaling… I felt freer to write.

Keeping a diary just seems too restricting to me and I by essence am a free spirit.

How my Love for Journaling Came About

I have been keeping journals since I was about 10 or 11 years old.  I was first introduced to journal writing and recording my thoughts from observing my mother when I was as young as two (2).  My mother would put a blank tape in the recorder and just begin talking expressing herself to God about what she was going through in her life, with her children, and with my Dad.  She would sometimes just let the music play or record me and my niece Abby playing.  My niece Abby and I grew up like siblings being just under two (2) years apart in age.  My mother would baby sit my niece, eventually she would end up living with us for five (5) years.

From time to time my mother would also record her thoughts into a journal or write quotes in the margins of books she was reading.  Draw pictures on pieces of scrap paper…I mean my mother if she had something going on…she would find an outlet to get it out.  I believe it was her extension to her fellowship time with God.

Now on top of all this my mother was a prayer warrior.  People to the time she passed would call her just to leave long messages on her answering machine requesting prayer.  They knew when she prayed she got results.

My dad he was another one that encouraged me to read, write and record my voice.  My father had a strong passion for photography, drawing, painting and self discovery.  I remember going on outings to bookstores with him or museums and being given a budget to purchase items.  Instead of toys growing up after a certain age I received books or historical activity kits from my father as gifts.  This ended up being a family trend (I began to receive similar gifts from my uncles and aunts on my father side of the family) and it helped to strengthen my love for the arts.

At around 10 or 11 years of age my dad saw that I had begun to take on my mother’s love for journaling.  So he purchased for me my first set of composition notebooks to record my thoughts.  Then when he saw I loved to play as if I was radio disc jockey/host, he purchased me a tape recorder and a stack of blank cassettes and would pay me $10 per tape to record books for him.  This was before the whole books on audio tape became a big industry of its own.

In those composition notebooks I captured my pre-teen experiences, poems and drawing.  When I felt led, I would share them with my parents and they would in turn encourage me even more to continue writing, so I did.  Now it is 20+ years later and I am still writing and recording my thoughts electronically.  My latest medium is however blogging.

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If you enjoyed this article and would like to begin journaling yourself.  You may now purchase an official “Memoirs of a Black Girl” journal for as little as $12 by clicking on the following link http://www.cafepress.com/memofablackgirl

Thank you again for your support of my writings!

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com & http://www.poetryofablackgirl.com

Send email to: talktous@memoirsofablackgirl.com

One of the “I WILL” statements I listed for 2009 was to basically be a better steward over my relationships.  For those that do not know what an, “I WILL” statement is… well think of them as New Year’s resolutions that you actually plan on doing.   For the past two years I have compiled a list of things I want to do / develop in and actually go into contract with myself, witnessed by God and my friend/support base to keep me accountable.

Well, top of this year’s listing was for me to be a better steward over all of my relationships as I mentioned above.  Letting those that I love and care about really know how I feel about them and what they mean to me.    Reconnect with my family members, old friends and get to really know newer ones.

I am striving to be a better friend and support to those that have made any kind of impact on my life.  For so many years I focused on work, and work some more and my career that I lost sight kind of what was really important.  Enjoying this life I was given and those I was blessed to experience it with.

I believe I did this more so as a defense mechanism after first my dad, god father and one of my uncles passing in less than a year of each other.  Then my mother five years later which put a strain on my relationships with my siblings on both sides of my family also my relationship with my former beau.  Toss in there a few job changes and physical changes (cutting off my dreadlocks after 15 years of growing them and losing about 26 pounds.)  If I did not have God, I don’t know how I would have been able to cope.

Getting back to me being a good steward over my relationships “I Will” statement, with making this commitment and really working being more pliable I have learned more about myself in these last six months for both the good and the bad compared to in the last three years.  The bad are areas where I need more development and the good… are areas that I want to work on expanding.  So in an essence, I am still learning and I am still developing.  I know I have only begun to scratch the surface…However I can only honestly say that the seeds that I sow now are more so good seeds than bad ones…