It’s the holidays and yesterday, “The Coach” and I spent some quality time with my mother’s side of the family;  “The Jones-Medleys”.  It’s funny how you can see yourself and your unique habits mirrored in your kin’s.  For example, my 7 years old grand niece at one point took out her notebook and began to write her own observations of the event.  My big sister her grandmother said that she always has her notebook with her and she enjoys writing.

At one point she asked us how to spell “freaking out”.  All the adults in the room looked around and didn’t answer her.  A few minutes later I said… ‘Wait no one answered Amiah.’  She in turn said “Auntie, I moved on and decided to use another word.” My fiancée shook his head and said that he could picture that being something I would do when I was her age.  He knows me so well

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

“I’m tired of this mess” … Have you ever caught yourself saying that or thinking it as you were working on something on with someone else?  Have you ever prayed for patience just before the mess began and wondered why what little patience you had to begin with was being tested?

Newsflash… You asked for the mess…ahem I mean the test.  How do you think patience is gained?  A muscle only shows definition when it has been developed… So are the godly attributes that make up good character.  Just pass the test… you asked for the mess and your proctor the Holy Spirit is with you.

John 16:33 MSG ^31-33 Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

Recently I sat down and had a conversation with one of my dear friends about Men.  It was not one of those stereotypical sessions where you have two girlfriends talking about guys and dogging them out.  Trust me it was far from that scenario.  We spoke of how important it is for men to see God as their ultimate source for how to love others unconditionally, to forgive and forget, to trust, to be an example of integrity, knowledge, wisdom and how quite simply provide for themselves and their families.

You see, God is the ultimate provider and father; when he created Man he fashioned him after himself.  Man was created because God desired to have a family/people to commune, provide for and share his abundant kingdom with.   Just like God, Man has that very same desire ingrained in him; to provide for those he cares for his own family.

In order for Man to be the true provider which he was created to be he has to be whole heartily in relationship with God.  Without this relationship it will be near to impossible for him to be a true sustainer.  When Man begins to trust in only what he creates of his own hands and things of this earth like money he is trusting in what is temporal.  God is forever and will never lose value, dry up or spoil.

If there is no consistent communication between God and Man, the seeds of confusion can be planted and quickly take root and eventually bear fruit.  Fruit like fear, lack, despair, depression, anger, and desperation on the side of man.  God is confident in who he is.  Man on the other hand until he is rooted and ground in the knowledge of God and his love will always try to make things happen out of his own abilities which are limited.

Man should never get this reality twisted.  Man did not create God, God created Man. And when he did, he did so with a purpose in mind.  Man was to be fruitful and multiple on this earth.  He was to further God’s kingdom until it spread across all four corners of the globe; making a perfect copy of God’s kingdom in heaven on earth.  Man was created to be the steward of this planet.  Yet, when he disobeyed God’s commandment and did not take responsibility for his own actions, he created a communication break down.

First, he ate from the Tree of Life that God explicitly told him not to.  Then he hid from God and lastly he blamed Eve who had not been given the commandment in the first place from God to obey.  Man/Adam was the one that God ultimately held responsible for following the community / Garden of Eden, his rules.  Here is where fear came on the scene and Man began instead of looking up for guidance from God, he began to look down and around himself to see how he could make things happen…

Man, you need to look UP!

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

In 2006 there were a few factors that if I did not have a relationship (meaning a prayer life) with God I may have wanted to check out… nothing extreme like taking my own life. However if I could I would have just become invisible and just disappeared from the craziness of what was becoming my everyday routine. I had bouts with depression, my behavior and attitude changed, and not for the better. I was under a lot of pressure and more responsibilities than I would have cared to have. Yet quitting was not an option for me…

See, 2006 was the year my mother went home to be with the Lord. The job and career that I had successfully progressed in I no longer had a passion to do. In some ways my family was on the verge of falling apart and though I was the youngest I had to stand in place as if I was the eldest and make some life changing decisions. I felt as if I was back in time and was experiencing the emotions and happenings that I did when my dad past five years earlier. It was also the year that I was first offered an opportunity to work in fulltime ministry…

The big difference though the morning my mother passed I awoke for the first time with the unction to pray at 4AM first in the spirit for an hour and then in my natural language just to say…”God… no matter what people, places or things you must remove from my life in order for me to walk and be in your prefect will for it..I will not get angry with you, I so swear.”

Little did I know that promise I cried out to God in the wee hours of the morning on March 15, 2006 would be tested time and time again in the years to come…

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Psalm 45: 1 (Amplified) MY HEART overflows with a ^[a]goodly theme; I address my psalm to a King. My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

“Spiritual Vomit”!?!? What the heck is that you may be asking…?  Does it sound gross to you? It should. The repercussions that come from not purging your soul, can cause you to have unexpected verbal accidents.

As I have been taught, man is a tri-part being he is a spirit that possesses a soul/heart (where his thinker, feeler, and chooser reside) and he has and lives in body.  When we die in the physical our spirit man is separated from our flesh (our earth suit) and the decisions we made while we were alive affect where we end up living out eternity.

My spirit man, when I became born again was made new. However my soul/heart needs to be renewed daily.  That means what I allow into its gates through my ears, my eyes, by what I touch and what comes out of my mouth must line up with the Word of God.  This way my spirit and soul/heart can become on one accord.  When they are not, the possibility for verbal accidents based in flesh to happen can seem unavoidable.  For example, I have been called snappy on more than number of occasions, as it relates to my responses… snappy means briskly cold. Am I proud of it? No, it’s an area where I need to continue develop in.  It’s an area where I can visualize my spirit man physically getting ill because it has to witness my soul/heart controlling how my body reacts to situations.  Its base is fear…

Going back to the topic of this article, “Spiritual Vomit”; if you noticed above I made mention that our soul/heart is where our thinker, feeler, and chooser reside.  So it is safe to say that if you think a certain way, and feel a certain way you will choose to do a certain action, right?  Again hypothetically speaking, if I think on doing something for a while (mediate on it), I will begin to have strong feelings and eventually will choose to do it or because I have been mediating on it for so long, I will begin to act out on my thoughts by instinct.  Think of a person that has learned to drive.  After awhile the fact that in order to keep the car moving forward requires them to press their foot on the accelerator and hold onto the steering wheel to keep the car steady will become almost as instinctual as breathing.

The same can be said about a person and their attitudes towards others. If you think a particular way about a person, you will begin to feel also a particular way about them and so either way good, bad or indifferent will begin to treat them based on those feelings.  When you see them your face may also read a different message to what you are actually saying.  This scenario can also cause you to seem phony, not truthful to people because you are attempting to mask your feelings.  I am not saying it’s ok either to go around telling people exactly how you truly feel, because it can be considered offensive.  Depending on the delivery, the timing and the words you use… Trust me, I know.  Choose your battles… However, I do recommend that you examine yourself before you react.

If you are not cautious with your words, you may even begin to make comments that reflect flesh based feelings.  These little comments may seem accidental but are really what you are feeling in the city of your soul.

Usually what makes you angry is what you are afraid of.  Or what annoys you, is what you have given power to trigger negative reactions from you.  When my Pastor taught these two points a number of years ago it really hit home.  What more than anything hit me is that I can choose how I react and what I react to.  I have the ability to stop verbal slip ups from escaping my lips.

Now what are some of the repercussions of NOT purging your soul?

1)      Lost relationships

2)      Doors of opportunity being shut

3)      Communication breakdown

Cheers to fewer clean ups in the aisle called you!

Reference Scriptures

John 6:63 (Amplified) It is the Spirit Who gives life [He is the Life-giver]; the flesh conveys no benefit whatever [there is no profit in it]. The words (truths) that I have been speaking to you are spirit and life.

Romans 8:1-7 (Amplified) ¹THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.^(A)

²For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus [the law of our new being] has freed me from the law of sin and of death.

³For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being weakened by the flesh [^[a]the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit]. Sending His own Son in the guise of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, [God] condemned sin in the flesh [^[b]subdued, overcame, ^[c]deprived it of its power over all who accept that sacrifice],^(B)

⁴So that the righteous and just requirement of the Law might be fully met in us who live and move not in the ways of the flesh but in the ways of the Spirit [our lives governed not by the standards and according to the dictates of the flesh, but controlled by the Holy Spirit].

⁵For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and ^[d]pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and ^[e]seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.

⁶Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that ^[f]comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].

⁷[That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.

⁸So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.

© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.

The field is empty.   My love and I walk its length hand and hand. A ritual started during our courtship.  He replays the game to himself, play by play as I listen to the smooth timber of his baritone voice.  Our boys the twins are playing catch on the sidelines.  Both like their father play football, pee wee for now.  The stands hold echoes of the memories of fans and their cheers.  They are empty too but for the rubbish left behind from the throngs of people.  It was just a couple of hours ago when he had been given his 100^th Gatorade bathe adding another win to his impeccable record at State.

Who am I?  I am the head coach’s wife and I have held this title and that of assistant coach’s wife in different cities and at few schools through the years.  It has been eight years in the same city this time.  When my coach and I first met in high school I could have never imagined that we would end up here.  Our weekends from August to December are filled with team chapels, tailgates, pre-game warm ups, get to getters with other coach’s ladies and two hours of nail biting, and eyes closed in deep prayer.  Coordinating trips to away games, and couples’ bible study teleconference calls; other times of the year as a family going to conferences, visiting family and working on projects that could not be completed before the football season started.

Title: The Training Never Ends (Novel – In the Works)

This past Saturday evening my favorite football coach and I decided to take an alternate way back to Brooklyn from church and the City.  He is home for a least a month to spend some quality time with me, his family and friends; since the UFL’s 2010 season is over. The absolute gentleman he is, he normally rides with me via my train route to my stop and walks me to my door.  However this evening I convinced him that I would be fine if we took his train route home, since my stop is right after his.   I knew he was tired and I was attempting to be accommodating and save us some time getting home.

See, this December marks our one year anniversary as a couple officially.  We have been friends since high school and reconnected about two years ago.  December is also my birthday month, so having him so close is a present / blessing all by itself.

Being the typical New Yorker I am before we entered the train, I took a look at the signage at the token booth to see if there were any scheduling changes.  Since none were posted we paid our fares and proceed to go to the platform where our train should arrive to take us home.  However when we got there the signage stated that the express trains were running on the local track where we just had come from!

Not getting upset while he allowed me to decide which direction we were going to take and the fact that we just ran down and up two flights of steps, my love told me once again that I was a trip.  Then he just proceeds to smile, hug me and tell me he was just glad to be spending this time with me.  Talk about cool points!

In the interim of all this we run into one of my new little sisters at church.  She and I end up talking for a second.  After she and I finish our conversation my love and I finally get on a train heading to Brooklyn.  One of his other nicknames for me is social butterfly I wonder why?   In addition to all this, we had learned we would have to transfer to another train in order to arrive to our destination of Brooklyn.  When we arrived at one of the stations on our route he sees an express train and decides we should sprint for it. However, we then hear the overhead announcer telling us that all passengers would have to switch to the train we were just were on to get to the South Ferry, where we would get our free transfer into Brooklyn.  So, what do you think we do? If you guessed that the two of us sprint back to our train, giggling all the way, you would have guessed correctly.  Truly it was just a pleasure to be there and talk with him.

When we arrived at the South Ferry station, we are then told we have to leave the station and walk one block to the Bowling Green stop.  Honestly if I had been by myself walking in that pitch blackness, the outside perimeter of the Bowling Green, I would had been praying for an extra legion of angels to protect me.  The signage was horrible and the walkway not well lit.  When we arrived at what we thought was the entrance of the station, there was no transit personnel in sight.  Some of our fellow passengers used the talk box to get directions to where we had to go to get our free transfer.  It turned out to be another block away and across the street!

At the station, my love jokingly says to the station agent that they were not really trying to give us the free transfer.  Her response back to him was at least we got some free exercise.  At that point I had to remind myself that I was in fact a saved born again Christian.  The Coach however, thought he was going to have to hold me back.  He didn’t have to though I took control of my emotions   After that exchange we proceed to go to our platform and wait for our train to arrive.  At that point I did a quiet prayer for seats.  My love shook his head at me in disbelief and said he should update his Facebook status to read only the message “She prayed for seats!”  He had prayed earlier for our train to arrive in a timely fashion, so my seats prayer was to cover all the bases

Shortly thereafter our train did arrive and it was not but for one stop and I did in fact get my seat    My love on the other hand who at first laughed at me rode all the way home standing.  Who says my Lord does not provide even for the little things like seats! In the end, the train ride was one I will always remember and as you see had to write about.  My love even wants to do it again, get lost in the transit system with me on purpose go figure   Life is truly a journey, however it’s up to us to decide if its going to be a pleasurable one or one of regret.

August 8^th, 2010 – Yesterday, in preparing to go to my church’s general service, I decided to have as my traveling music Byron Cage’s “Faithful to Believe” album. When I arrived on location the song that was pumping through my ear phones was “I Can’t Hold it”; a song that gets me every time in the mood to praise.  After attending a meeting I proceeded to go downstairs to visit with one of my friends in another volunteer department (I serve in the Music Ministry.)  I opted for the elevator versus the stairs.  Two of my friends one an armor bearer for my pastors and another a pastor’s aide waited with me.  When the elevator arrived we were greeted by another one of my friends that is an armor bearer and unknown gentleman.

My friend who is an aide seeing the unknown gentleman assumed he was new armor bearer / vision keeper in training.  She proceeded to confirm this by asking the question if in fact he was.  His response “Yes, I am dedicating my life to Christ today.” The elevator then stopped and he got off.  We all looked at each other for a second in slight confusion.  My friend the aide stated “He must have not understood the question.”  My response was I believe he did.  He was stating what he believed was keeping the vision.  He was dedicating his life to the Lord.

We at that moment arrived at our own floor and all parted ways; I to visit my friend and them to go to their individuals assignments.   When I found my friend, her department members and she were preparing to pray and meet.  I decided to join them in for the prayer.  After the prayer I went upstairs to report to my own department officially and proceeded to do my pre-service duties.  Praise and worship was extra anointed that night and my lady pastor, Taffi L. Dollar really urged us in her opening encouragements to bask in the presence of God a bit longer.

The message itself was excellent and as always an on time one.  When she called for the altar call for those that wanted to get saved, rededicate their lives to Christ, received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit (with the evidence of speaking with tongues) or join the church she also instructed us as is customary to ask our neighbors the same four questions.  Low and behold the unknown gentleman who was on the elevator with me earlier was sitting in the next row.

I knew that was a sign from God that he wanted me to be the one to ask him personally if he had made a quality decision.  At that moment I turned around and asked, he resoundingly said yes and confirmed that he wanted me to walk him down.  He and I were the first ones to arrive at the altar that evening.  I was so much in a state of utter joy that when I went to go back to my seat, I first went to the wrong row.  After laughing at myself I walked to the correct one and just began to thank God for gentleman making a quality decision and for allowing me to assist him.

True tears of joy just began to fall from my eyes.  An older woman, who I know only by casual fellowshipping, tapped me on the shoulder to hug me.  I was so much on a spiritual high that I just could not almost contain myself; I think I gave her an extra squeeze.  During my trip home I felt as I was floating on cloud nine.  I continued to thank God for bring the gentleman, to my attention and using me to be his escort to the altar.

It’s just amazing how simply by paying attention to your surroundings, not questioning and obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit and doing an act of service can bless you right back in return.  It is almost 24 hours later and I am still on a spiritual high.   I served again this morning at satellite church and was taken out of my comfort zone.  I was asked to sing lead for the last song of the worship set and to minister the altar call song.  In the natural I made a few errors (early start on a song because I was lost in the spirit), however I had said “Ok, I will do it, Lord.”  And he yet again showed out…more souls came to the kingdom!

I believe last night in a sense I to rededicated my life back Lord; and I will continue to give him the glory for each opportunity he presents to me.

Friday July 2^nd, 2010 – I woke up this morning with a new spring in my step.  Today, I am Houston, TX bound for the first time.  I am spending July 4^th weekend with my sweetie and his family.  I packed the night before while being coached (over the phone) by a professional, my sweetie coaches, football.  As he stated, his major boyfriend duty was to make sure I went to bed with enough time to not be cranky in the morning.  Mission accomplished.

Leaving for work, I said my goodbyes to my pets.  My plan was to head for the airport after work.  Auston my dog I could tell sensed I was leaving.  He stayed even closer to me and gave me those sad puppy dog eyes that normally melt my heart.  My cat Tigger on the other hand was more concerned about his next meal.

I was so excited about the day.  I arrived almost 45 minutes early into the office.   This will be my sweetie and my second away trip, as a couple and once again outside of me booking my flights he is planning our entire itinerary. See, for the average person this would not seem to be a big deal.  However for me, there is never anything average.  Professionally I assisted in and planned complex events that hosted from less than 10 or more VIPs to thousands of attendees weekly.  From the venue selection, to the vendors and fine tuning of the guest list, so me having the faith in and ability to trust him completely in the planning of our trips activities, once again tells  and speaks volumes.

With arriving to work early I had time to check in with my sweetie and my sister-friends.  After which, I began tracking the weather conditions out of Houston and my flight.  Well, what I thought was my flight. It turns out I was tracking the wrong flight all day!  However I will get into how I found out about that later.  I didn’t get upset however when I saw that there were delays due to extreme weather conditions (Thunderstorms and flash flooding.)  I just began praying for the passengers and flight crew.  I giggled with my co-workers saying I would be able to finish a book or get some writing done while I waited for my flight to arrive.  Little did I know my attitude through the entire ordeal would be a testimony in it self.

When I got off from work I had two options from Penn Station to get to the JFK connector station; the subway or the LIRR.  I decided after getting some sage advice from a co-worker to not take the LIRR.  Instead I took the less crowded and less expensive E train (subway) to catch the AirTrain to JFK International Airport, NY Mass Transit’s greener alternative to get the world famous portal to the world.  My total commuter cost to JFK was $7.50 ($2.50 for the subway and $5.00 for the AirTrain fare.)

Walking to the E train, talk about perfect timing the train arrived just as I was going through the turnstile.  The complete ride was an experience.  After only one stop I was able to get a seat.  By that one stop I knew for a fact that I was on a train with a host of characters.  From the African American young man dressed as Edward Scissorhands with his reflecting contacts, sporting two cell phones, to the little Hispanic girl that instinctively used my shoulder as a pillow; I told her mother I didn’t mind.   As a child I remember doing the same thing myself while on long train ride J

When I arrived to my destination Supthin Blvd; I was already pumped because I knew I would have some stories to write about.  Getting on the AirTrain I checked “my flight” again.  The report was showing the plane was getting ready to taxi leaving Houston for New York.  I called my sweetie who was picking me up from airport to tell him the status and he was still shocked at how calm I was and the fact I was giggling, though it looked there was almost 4 hour delay.  I was just really enjoying myself.  The AirTrain takes you for a full loop around JFK and I was taking in the beauty of the airport and its terminals.

When I reached my terminal, I again found joy just ridding the moving walkway.  The inner kid in me wanted to ride it again on the opposite side.  I didn’t though.  I took a picture at the top of the escalator before going into check in and when I got my boarding pass was kind of shocked to see my ticket said my flight was leaving on time.  The funny thing is that actually ignored it and checked my bag, however was led to look up at the flight board and back at my boarding pass and was pleasantly surprised to see my flight was leaving on time.  I had arrived to the airport within 90 minutes of departure.  My exact words were “Glory to God!”

After calling my sweetie to give him the update and my sister-friends, I sat back and marveled at God.  Though I had made the error in tracking the wrong flight, he still showed me favor.  My entire flight was wonderfully smooth.  I know that is a testimony to how I maintained my attitude and through the power of prayer done by my intercessors.  The flight time was cut from 3 hours and 50 minutes to just 2 hours and a half.  I arrived in Houston almost an entire hour early.

He Treats Her Like a Lady

/ / Chapter 2  //

Three years earlier and a week before Valentine’s Day; Alex had just left her house to catch the train to work, when she was hit by a walking vision.  A vision that stopped her completely in her tracks and caused her to audibly plead the blood of Jesus over what she saw; praying for the memory of it to be speedily cast from her mind.

A vision of her long-time boyfriend, who she had rekindled three months prior her relationship with; a man who she thought was the love her life in the throes of passion with another man.

See Pierre after relocating from New York to Florida six-months earlier, had taken a job running deliveries for a local chain of night clubs in South Miami.  What he had not told her was that one of the clubs owners who was openly gay had been hitting on him and that he had begun to have dreams of accepting his propositions.  Propositions of buying him lavish gifts and paying off his debts. Debts he had accumulated after Alex had cut him off financially after changing jobs herself and taking a pay cut to pursue a career in the non-profit sector fulltime.

So, the vision should not have shocked her.  The signs had been there throughout their relationship however she cared to ignore that she may have been in a relationship for more than six years with a man that had more secrets than she cared to know.  She had thought her ignorance was bliss, but because a growing relationship with God her higher power; all that was in the dark was about to suddenly come to the light.

Alex prayers, “Heavenly Father, let this not be true! I cast down this vision in the mighty name of Jesus and I plead the blood over this situation now, Amen!”

Feeling uneasy for the last few days, she had not heard from Pierre in almost a week and had known he was driving an extended cross country trip from the East Coast to the West Coast on business.  His vocation as a truck driver sometimes made it difficult for them to connect, but almost a week was not normal.

After praying she was able to somehow stumble into work, the day seemed to drag.  Alex had attempted to text and call Pierre more times than she would care to tell during the day.  Finally, when almost everyone had left the office Alex still plugging away at a project hears her phone awaken from its deafening silence.  She glances down and sees it’s a text from him.  She almost doesn’t want to read it knowing in her heart that it will confirm all her fears, but she does.  It reads “Something happened…”

An excerpt from “He Treats Her Like a Lady” a new short story still in the works  …

Lela Jefferson, © 2010 All rights reserved.

– www.memoirsofablackgirl.com