Posts Tagged ‘blog’

Habakkuk 2:3 AMP – For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.

Today is Sunday, November 20, 2011… It’s officially two weeks before my 33rd birthday.  I am using this time to assess and get myself organized.  It is also less than two months before the New Year and traditionally this is the time I evaluate my “I WILL” statements in prep of creating a new list for the upcoming year.  I believe this year I made some positive strives.  However, I want to make sure I’m doing the last thing God told me to do, from writing assignments to scheduling appointments to creating a book reading schedule and a financial plan that I can actually commit myself to.  Offline I have begun to track my habits and activities no matter how small they are to gage how I spend my time.  Any time wasters must be eliminated immediately…

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

In 2006 there were a few factors that if I did not have a relationship (meaning a prayer life) with God I may have wanted to check out… nothing extreme like taking my own life. However if I could I would have just become invisible and just disappeared from the craziness of what was becoming my everyday routine. I had bouts with depression, my behavior and attitude changed, and not for the better. I was under a lot of pressure and more responsibilities than I would have cared to have. Yet quitting was not an option for me…

See, 2006 was the year my mother went home to be with the Lord. The job and career that I had successfully progressed in I no longer had a passion to do. In some ways my family was on the verge of falling apart and though I was the youngest I had to stand in place as if I was the eldest and make some life changing decisions. I felt as if I was back in time and was experiencing the emotions and happenings that I did when my dad past five years earlier. It was also the year that I was first offered an opportunity to work in fulltime ministry…

The big difference though the morning my mother passed I awoke for the first time with the unction to pray at 4AM first in the spirit for an hour and then in my natural language just to say…”God… no matter what people, places or things you must remove from my life in order for me to walk and be in your prefect will for it..I will not get angry with you, I so swear.”

Little did I know that promise I cried out to God in the wee hours of the morning on March 15, 2006 would be tested time and time again in the years to come…

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

So… you missed the mark. You sinned. You were disobedient to God’s will / His word. Now what? FYI Its okay, God already knows what you did. Will there be consequences? Sure there will be. It’s okay to go to him and talk about it and get the instruction on how to get back on track. God is God, he created you and he has given you a purpose to fulfill. But first you need to get over yourself… (YOU-R-SELF)…  relax he is waiting for you; he has made an opening just for you in his busy schedule.

Psalm 32 (The Message)

A David Psalm

¹ Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start,
your slate’s wiped clean.

² Count yourself lucky—
God holds nothing against you
and you’re holding nothing back from him.

³ When I kept it all inside,
my bones turned to powder,
my words became daylong groans.

⁴ The pressure never let up;
all the juices of my life dried up.

⁵ Then I let it all out;
I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.”

Suddenly the pressure was gone—
my guilt dissolved,
my sin disappeared.

⁶ These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray;
when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts
we’ll be on high ground, untouched.

⁷ God’s my island hideaway,
keeps danger far from the shore,
throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.

⁸ Let me give you some good advice;
I’m looking you in the eye
and giving it to you straight:

⁹ “Don’t be ornery like a horse or mule
that needs bit and bridle
to stay on track.”

¹⁰ God-defiers are always in trouble;
God-affirmers find themselves loved
every time they turn around.

¹¹ Celebrate God.
Sing together—everyone!
All you honest hearts, raise the roof!

© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.

August 8^th, 2010 – Yesterday, in preparing to go to my church’s general service, I decided to have as my traveling music Byron Cage’s “Faithful to Believe” album. When I arrived on location the song that was pumping through my ear phones was “I Can’t Hold it”; a song that gets me every time in the mood to praise.  After attending a meeting I proceeded to go downstairs to visit with one of my friends in another volunteer department (I serve in the Music Ministry.)  I opted for the elevator versus the stairs.  Two of my friends one an armor bearer for my pastors and another a pastor’s aide waited with me.  When the elevator arrived we were greeted by another one of my friends that is an armor bearer and unknown gentleman.

My friend who is an aide seeing the unknown gentleman assumed he was new armor bearer / vision keeper in training.  She proceeded to confirm this by asking the question if in fact he was.  His response “Yes, I am dedicating my life to Christ today.” The elevator then stopped and he got off.  We all looked at each other for a second in slight confusion.  My friend the aide stated “He must have not understood the question.”  My response was I believe he did.  He was stating what he believed was keeping the vision.  He was dedicating his life to the Lord.

We at that moment arrived at our own floor and all parted ways; I to visit my friend and them to go to their individuals assignments.   When I found my friend, her department members and she were preparing to pray and meet.  I decided to join them in for the prayer.  After the prayer I went upstairs to report to my own department officially and proceeded to do my pre-service duties.  Praise and worship was extra anointed that night and my lady pastor, Taffi L. Dollar really urged us in her opening encouragements to bask in the presence of God a bit longer.

The message itself was excellent and as always an on time one.  When she called for the altar call for those that wanted to get saved, rededicate their lives to Christ, received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit (with the evidence of speaking with tongues) or join the church she also instructed us as is customary to ask our neighbors the same four questions.  Low and behold the unknown gentleman who was on the elevator with me earlier was sitting in the next row.

I knew that was a sign from God that he wanted me to be the one to ask him personally if he had made a quality decision.  At that moment I turned around and asked, he resoundingly said yes and confirmed that he wanted me to walk him down.  He and I were the first ones to arrive at the altar that evening.  I was so much in a state of utter joy that when I went to go back to my seat, I first went to the wrong row.  After laughing at myself I walked to the correct one and just began to thank God for gentleman making a quality decision and for allowing me to assist him.

True tears of joy just began to fall from my eyes.  An older woman, who I know only by casual fellowshipping, tapped me on the shoulder to hug me.  I was so much on a spiritual high that I just could not almost contain myself; I think I gave her an extra squeeze.  During my trip home I felt as I was floating on cloud nine.  I continued to thank God for bring the gentleman, to my attention and using me to be his escort to the altar.

It’s just amazing how simply by paying attention to your surroundings, not questioning and obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit and doing an act of service can bless you right back in return.  It is almost 24 hours later and I am still on a spiritual high.   I served again this morning at satellite church and was taken out of my comfort zone.  I was asked to sing lead for the last song of the worship set and to minister the altar call song.  In the natural I made a few errors (early start on a song because I was lost in the spirit), however I had said “Ok, I will do it, Lord.”  And he yet again showed out…more souls came to the kingdom!

I believe last night in a sense I to rededicated my life back Lord; and I will continue to give him the glory for each opportunity he presents to me.

Friday July 2^nd, 2010 – I woke up this morning with a new spring in my step.  Today, I am Houston, TX bound for the first time.  I am spending July 4^th weekend with my sweetie and his family.  I packed the night before while being coached (over the phone) by a professional, my sweetie coaches, football.  As he stated, his major boyfriend duty was to make sure I went to bed with enough time to not be cranky in the morning.  Mission accomplished.

Leaving for work, I said my goodbyes to my pets.  My plan was to head for the airport after work.  Auston my dog I could tell sensed I was leaving.  He stayed even closer to me and gave me those sad puppy dog eyes that normally melt my heart.  My cat Tigger on the other hand was more concerned about his next meal.

I was so excited about the day.  I arrived almost 45 minutes early into the office.   This will be my sweetie and my second away trip, as a couple and once again outside of me booking my flights he is planning our entire itinerary. See, for the average person this would not seem to be a big deal.  However for me, there is never anything average.  Professionally I assisted in and planned complex events that hosted from less than 10 or more VIPs to thousands of attendees weekly.  From the venue selection, to the vendors and fine tuning of the guest list, so me having the faith in and ability to trust him completely in the planning of our trips activities, once again tells  and speaks volumes.

With arriving to work early I had time to check in with my sweetie and my sister-friends.  After which, I began tracking the weather conditions out of Houston and my flight.  Well, what I thought was my flight. It turns out I was tracking the wrong flight all day!  However I will get into how I found out about that later.  I didn’t get upset however when I saw that there were delays due to extreme weather conditions (Thunderstorms and flash flooding.)  I just began praying for the passengers and flight crew.  I giggled with my co-workers saying I would be able to finish a book or get some writing done while I waited for my flight to arrive.  Little did I know my attitude through the entire ordeal would be a testimony in it self.

When I got off from work I had two options from Penn Station to get to the JFK connector station; the subway or the LIRR.  I decided after getting some sage advice from a co-worker to not take the LIRR.  Instead I took the less crowded and less expensive E train (subway) to catch the AirTrain to JFK International Airport, NY Mass Transit’s greener alternative to get the world famous portal to the world.  My total commuter cost to JFK was $7.50 ($2.50 for the subway and $5.00 for the AirTrain fare.)

Walking to the E train, talk about perfect timing the train arrived just as I was going through the turnstile.  The complete ride was an experience.  After only one stop I was able to get a seat.  By that one stop I knew for a fact that I was on a train with a host of characters.  From the African American young man dressed as Edward Scissorhands with his reflecting contacts, sporting two cell phones, to the little Hispanic girl that instinctively used my shoulder as a pillow; I told her mother I didn’t mind.   As a child I remember doing the same thing myself while on long train ride J

When I arrived to my destination Supthin Blvd; I was already pumped because I knew I would have some stories to write about.  Getting on the AirTrain I checked “my flight” again.  The report was showing the plane was getting ready to taxi leaving Houston for New York.  I called my sweetie who was picking me up from airport to tell him the status and he was still shocked at how calm I was and the fact I was giggling, though it looked there was almost 4 hour delay.  I was just really enjoying myself.  The AirTrain takes you for a full loop around JFK and I was taking in the beauty of the airport and its terminals.

When I reached my terminal, I again found joy just ridding the moving walkway.  The inner kid in me wanted to ride it again on the opposite side.  I didn’t though.  I took a picture at the top of the escalator before going into check in and when I got my boarding pass was kind of shocked to see my ticket said my flight was leaving on time.  The funny thing is that actually ignored it and checked my bag, however was led to look up at the flight board and back at my boarding pass and was pleasantly surprised to see my flight was leaving on time.  I had arrived to the airport within 90 minutes of departure.  My exact words were “Glory to God!”

After calling my sweetie to give him the update and my sister-friends, I sat back and marveled at God.  Though I had made the error in tracking the wrong flight, he still showed me favor.  My entire flight was wonderfully smooth.  I know that is a testimony to how I maintained my attitude and through the power of prayer done by my intercessors.  The flight time was cut from 3 hours and 50 minutes to just 2 hours and a half.  I arrived in Houston almost an entire hour early.

“Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.” Isaiah 46:10 NLT

God has a mighty BIG sense of humor. This has been a, connect the dots week for me. I have been taking a trip down memory lane as I reconnect with my old friends, family and colleagues more and more.  They give me the opportunity to take a look at my life in hindsight….

It amazes me that I can say I have NO regrets. If I had the power to magically undo ANYTHING I have done thus far, I wouldn’t. I’ve spent too much time in the past doing, the “what if I had?” dance.  Mentally nailing myself to a cross and using past actions to halt me from moving forward; oh how I was deceived.

To paraphrase one of my mentors from a far Joyce Meyer “My greatest testimony is that I am still here!”  My second is that I am redeemed and saved by the grace of God.  That I have the ability to plead the blood over my life and say the name that is above every name… Jesus and get my prayers answered from my heavenly father.

I say that God has a mighty BIG sense of humor because if I was to have seen where and how my life has gone to get me to where I am today… 20 years ago, 10, or even 5….  I would have probably looked at God like he was crazy.  Good thing he is the only one of us that sees our end before the beginning…

Lela Jefferson, © 2010 All rights reserved.

– www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

I read having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver over the summer.  A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read.  I have been actually sharing my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book on my blogs.  Here is the latest question I studied out and gave commentary on.

Questions for Going Deeper – Day Eleven

5) In Mark 4:34-41 the disciples echoed Martha’s question:  “Don’t you care?”  What does this portion of Scripture teach us about the difficult times in our lives? (Consider Isaiah 43:1-2.)

What these two passages of scriptures teach us is that even when it looks the most difficult; God has already said in HIS word (referencing Isaiah 43:1-2) that he would be with us.  We need to stop having stock, believing in what we see with our natural eyes and begin to have faith in what he has promised us in his word.  Jesus who was the word made flesh was in the boat with the disciples (referencing Mark 4:34-41), yet and still they had fear that they would perish.  They were still in a state of disbelief.  For even after he had calmed the waters and the winds; they could not comprehend the matter of man Jesus was.  They still did not understand the authority or blessing they had amongst them.  Praise God for our sake they eventually did!

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

The previous article can be found here.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

There is something about obeying that small voice of reason otherwise known as the Holy Spirit…

This past Saturday after attending church, I was led to go book shopping at Borders.  I had been debating for some time with myself about buying a Message Bible.  See for the past year when I did my home bible study, I would use the website Bible Gateway to look up the Message Bible translation of a verse for a deeper understanding.  My main reference translations have been the King James and Amplified up until then.   I was first introduced to the Message Bible by a minister from my church’s parent ministry during a service he taught us here in NY.

Fast forwarding back to the present, the message my pastor had taught on that evening had been on acting on the voice of God behind the word of God we hear or read.  The word I kept hearing as he was preaching was that it was time for me to get my Message Bible.  Being obedient I did get to Borders which is just outside of the venue where we had service that evening and proceed to go on upstairs where I knew the bibles was housed.

When I got upstairs, I actually almost missed the aisle of bibles.  They have them so far back in the store that I thought that they had relocated them somewhere else since the store is currently undergoing renovations.  When I did see the titles I saw there were several of them actually with funky book jackets in different colors, versions and formats.  The one that called to me; however was a parallel copy that included the TNIV (Today’s New International Version) with the Message REMIX that was in a convenient travel size.  The complete bible title in itself looked like a hardcover novel; that could easily fit in my day-to-day hand bag!

Ironically the bible was even priced less than the first one I looked at and included as I mentioned the Message REMIX which includes bible book introductions and general scripture references to do cross study.  Talk about favor!  Before leaving the store, however I was led again to see if one of the authors/poets I wanted to do a further study on collective works was in the store.

This brought me to one of the store’s kiosks, to check their inventory.  The poet I was looking for was Nikki Gionvanni.  Once it was confirmed that a collection of her works was indeed in the store by an associate I proceeded to go towards the downstairs escalators.  Upon reaching the main floor, my eyes were drawn to the clearance rack where I found a treasure for sure!

Just sitting there so sweetly was this volume called Poetry Speaks Expanded- Hear Poets Read Their Own Works from Tennyson to Plath. The volume itself includes 47 of the world’s most renown poets ever recorded complete with brief bio and essays written about them from living legend poets such as Sonia Sanchez and three CDs of the poets reading their own works.  The oldest recording is from the 1800s!  Originally priced at $49.99 now $9.99!!!

To make a long story short, I left the store with four titles; the fourth was a book for my pure leisure The Devil Wears Prada. A fifth book was purchased.  However, it was one donated to local charity that gives books to grammar school kids.  I was just blessed beyond measure with my selections and in the end was blessed to be a blessing. This was all because of being obedient to the voice I heard behind the message.

For your quick reference here is the purchase information for the books I bought:

• TNIV The Message Remix Parallel Bible – Zondervan
• Poetry Speaks Expanded – Hear Poets Read Their Own Works from Tennyson to Plath (Book w/ CDs)
• The Collected Poetry of Nikki Gionvanni 1968 – 1998 P.S. Insights, interviews and more…
• The Devil Wears Prada – Lauren Weisberger

Bible Gateway | A searchable online Bible in over 100 versions and 50 languages

– http://www.biblegateway.com

Lela Jefferson, © 2009 All Rights Reserved

http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

I recently finished reading having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver.  A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read.  For the next 12 weeks, I plan to share my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book.

Questions for Going Deeper – Day Ten

1) In this passage how did God minister to Elijah in the midst of his discouragement (1 Kings 19: 1-8)?  How has God ministered to you when you felt alone and were hurting?

In this passage of scripture Elijah is ministered to by God with the answering of his prayers.  He told the Lord that he felt he was not strong enough to continue on to fight Jezebel and her maneuvers; that he was no better than his fathers before him.  God being true to his form; gave Elijah what he asked for.  He released him from his assignment, but at the same feed and protected him.

When I have felt alone and hurting.  God has presented me with others to minister to, to keep my mind off myself.  To show me that what I think may be bad only pales in comparison to what someone else maybe going through.  Other times he has even humbled me; by allowing me to hear the testimonies others that endured and were able to praise God in the end.

Nothing that the world can toss me I cannot overcome, with God and through my faith in him!

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

The previous article can be found here.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com