Posts Tagged ‘decision making’
In 2006 there were a few factors that if I did not have a relationship (meaning a prayer life) with God I may have wanted to check out… nothing extreme like taking my own life. However if I could I would have just become invisible and just disappeared from the craziness of what was becoming my everyday routine. I had bouts with depression, my behavior and attitude changed, and not for the better. I was under a lot of pressure and more responsibilities than I would have cared to have. Yet quitting was not an option for me…
See, 2006 was the year my mother went home to be with the Lord. The job and career that I had successfully progressed in I no longer had a passion to do. In some ways my family was on the verge of falling apart and though I was the youngest I had to stand in place as if I was the eldest and make some life changing decisions. I felt as if I was back in time and was experiencing the emotions and happenings that I did when my dad past five years earlier. It was also the year that I was first offered an opportunity to work in fulltime ministry…
The big difference though the morning my mother passed I awoke for the first time with the unction to pray at 4AM first in the spirit for an hour and then in my natural language just to say…”God… no matter what people, places or things you must remove from my life in order for me to walk and be in your prefect will for it..I will not get angry with you, I so swear.”
Little did I know that promise I cried out to God in the wee hours of the morning on March 15, 2006 would be tested time and time again in the years to come…
To be continued… I welcome your comments!
Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com
TweetPsalm 45: 1 (Amplified) MY HEART overflows with a [a]goodly theme; I address my psalm to a King. My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
“Spiritual Vomit”!?!? What the heck is that you may be asking…? Does it sound gross to you? It should. The repercussions that come from not purging your soul, can cause you to have unexpected verbal accidents.
As I have been taught, man is a tri-part being he is a spirit that possesses a soul/heart (where his thinker, feeler, and chooser reside) and he has and lives in body. When we die in the physical our spirit man is separated from our flesh (our earth suit) and the decisions we made while we were alive affect where we end up living out eternity.
My spirit man, when I became born again was made new. However my soul/heart needs to be renewed daily. That means what I allow into its gates through my ears, my eyes, by what I touch and what comes out of my mouth must line up with the Word of God. This way my spirit and soul/heart can become on one accord. When they are not, the possibility for verbal accidents based in flesh to happen can seem unavoidable. For example, I have been called snappy on more than number of occasions, as it relates to my responses… snappy means briskly cold. Am I proud of it? No, it’s an area where I need to continue develop in. It’s an area where I can visualize my spirit man physically getting ill because it has to witness my soul/heart controlling how my body reacts to situations. Its base is fear…
Going back to the topic of this article, “Spiritual Vomit”; if you noticed above I made mention that our soul/heart is where our thinker, feeler, and chooser reside. So it is safe to say that if you think a certain way, and feel a certain way you will choose to do a certain action, right? Again hypothetically speaking, if I think on doing something for a while (mediate on it), I will begin to have strong feelings and eventually will choose to do it or because I have been mediating on it for so long, I will begin to act out on my thoughts by instinct. Think of a person that has learned to drive. After awhile the fact that in order to keep the car moving forward requires them to press their foot on the accelerator and hold onto the steering wheel to keep the car steady will become almost as instinctual as breathing.
The same can be said about a person and their attitudes towards others. If you think a particular way about a person, you will begin to feel also a particular way about them and so either way good, bad or indifferent will begin to treat them based on those feelings. When you see them your face may also read a different message to what you are actually saying. This scenario can also cause you to seem phony, not truthful to people because you are attempting to mask your feelings. I am not saying it’s ok either to go around telling people exactly how you truly feel, because it can be considered offensive. Depending on the delivery, the timing and the words you use… Trust me, I know. Choose your battles… However, I do recommend that you examine yourself before you react.
If you are not cautious with your words, you may even begin to make comments that reflect flesh based feelings. These little comments may seem accidental but are really what you are feeling in the city of your soul.
Usually what makes you angry is what you are afraid of. Or what annoys you, is what you have given power to trigger negative reactions from you. When my Pastor taught these two points a number of years ago it really hit home. What more than anything hit me is that I can choose how I react and what I react to. I have the ability to stop verbal slip ups from escaping my lips.
Now what are some of the repercussions of NOT purging your soul?
1) Lost relationships
2) Doors of opportunity being shut
3) Communication breakdown
Cheers to fewer clean ups in the aisle called you!
Reference Scriptures
John 6:63 (Amplified) It is the Spirit Who gives life [He is the Life-giver]; the flesh conveys no benefit whatever [there is no profit in it]. The words (truths) that I have been speaking to you are spirit and life.
Romans 8:1-7 (Amplified) 1THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.(A)
2For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus [the law of our new being] has freed me from the law of sin and of death.
3For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being weakened by the flesh [[a]the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit]. Sending His own Son in the guise of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, [God] condemned sin in the flesh [[b]subdued, overcame, [c]deprived it of its power over all who accept that sacrifice],(B)
4So that the righteous and just requirement of the Law might be fully met in us who live and move not in the ways of the flesh but in the ways of the Spirit [our lives governed not by the standards and according to the dictates of the flesh, but controlled by the Holy Spirit].
5For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and [d]pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and [e]seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.
6Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that [f]comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].
7[That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.
8So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.
© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.
TweetExodus 34:9 (Amplified Bible)
9And he said, If now I have found favor and loving-kindness in Your sight, O Lord, let the Lord, I pray You, go in the midst of us, although it is a stiff-necked people, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for Your inheritance.
Did you know a generational curse can be broken and become a generational lesson…? How? If it is received by a teachable heart, humble spirit, which is also willing to make sacrifices and make, changes by faith for the better.
The other day as I was entering my apartment building I was confronted with something that I had wished I hadn’t. Yet, it brought me to the point where I felt compelled to write this article. What I saw was a young girl, the daughter of one of one of my childhood playmates clearly pregnant. The reason why I wish I had not seen it was because just a generation ago, her mother had been in her shoes; under 18 and pregnant with her. Just like her mother, she was very beautiful, popular and book smart. However, again just like her mother, she had let temptations win the battle to bring her to her present state underage and having a baby out of wedlock. To be very frank, she could have been my own daughter, had I made different decisions.
My mother too had become pregnant before she turned 18 and before she was married. Not with me but with one of my siblings our ages span a difference of almost 30 years. Unlike my friend though my mother who was born in the late 1930s; grew up in foster care because of my grandmother’s early death and my grandfather’s inability to take care of his 5 children on his own. He was an alcoholic, and a World War II veteran that had his own demons. When he married my grandmother her family had disowned her. She had come from a prominent family in Barbados and my grandfather was a half black half Native American service man from Virginia.
Due to my immediate family strong influence and their desire not to see me repeat their own iniquities, instead of condemning her, I felt in my own way I needed to empower her. I find that too many times we look at how we meet a person or see them in their present state and typecast them in a sense cursing them. What I wanted to do was envision her future as bright as it could be.
For it is not my place to judge nor did I want to; in my heart and under my breathe I began to pray. First interceding that the strain of sin that seemed to still be active in her family to stop and also let loose a blessing that her child and her would finally learn the lesson and become the generations to be delivered, healed and restored from iniquity.
It only takes a generation to make a difference, and change the course of a family; you can be that generation.
© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.
TweetTotally random… So I have this love, really a lust relationship going on with Reese’s peanut butter cups lately. Well, today I went to Kmart to pick up a few items and they had jumbo bags of them on sale for $2! In my weakness I picked up 2 bags and brought them to the office.
However, me and God are working on something in regards to my weight and making healthier choices when it comes to my eating habits…the gym is for another blog article 
Going back to the chocolate, instead of hoarding them in my desk drawer and slowly eating both bags over the course of a week, and feeling guilty for doing so, just because I got them on sale. I decided to share both bags with my co-workers and in the process made a few new buddies.
My point in sharing this little victory is that if you don’t take the time to calculate the cost of your actions, their price in the long run may inflate to a price beyond what you thought was originally a savings.
I was wrong with my initial intentions of buying the bags of candy. However in the end I was able to make a U-turn from the detour off the path of gaining more discipline in my life and in the process made more connections at my office vs. gaining extra pounds from a though delicious chocolate binge
Do you remember the song…”Whip Appeal” by Babyface? Yes, I am dating myself. However, I was thinking about it tonight while I was mediating on my scriptures for the day Joshua 5:2, Romans 2:29 and Colossians 2:11 all in which talk about circumcision first of the body and then the subconscious mind otherwise known as our hearts.
If you can follow my train of thinking the Word of God has “Whip Appeal”. Once you begin to really dig your heels into it, it whips everything that does not line up to it right out of you! You begin to desire it more and after awhile don’t mind that it is whipping the fleshy things right on out.
In truth true freedom begins first in your mind. Once your mind is renewed… the flesh has no other choice but to submit.
TweetAugust 8th, 2010 – Yesterday, in preparing to go to my church’s general service, I decided to have as my traveling music Byron Cage’s “Faithful to Believe” album. When I arrived on location the song that was pumping through my ear phones was “I Can’t Hold it”; a song that gets me every time in the mood to praise. After attending a meeting I proceeded to go downstairs to visit with one of my friends in another volunteer department (I serve in the Music Ministry.) I opted for the elevator versus the stairs. Two of my friends one an armor bearer for my pastors and another a pastor’s aide waited with me. When the elevator arrived we were greeted by another one of my friends that is an armor bearer and unknown gentleman.
My friend who is an aide seeing the unknown gentleman assumed he was new armor bearer / vision keeper in training. She proceeded to confirm this by asking the question if in fact he was. His response “Yes, I am dedicating my life to Christ today.” The elevator then stopped and he got off. We all looked at each other for a second in slight confusion. My friend the aide stated “He must have not understood the question.” My response was I believe he did. He was stating what he believed was keeping the vision. He was dedicating his life to the Lord.
We at that moment arrived at our own floor and all parted ways; I to visit my friend and them to go to their individuals assignments. When I found my friend, her department members and she were preparing to pray and meet. I decided to join them in for the prayer. After the prayer I went upstairs to report to my own department officially and proceeded to do my pre-service duties. Praise and worship was extra anointed that night and my lady pastor, Taffi L. Dollar really urged us in her opening encouragements to bask in the presence of God a bit longer.
The message itself was excellent and as always an on time one. When she called for the altar call for those that wanted to get saved, rededicate their lives to Christ, received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit (with the evidence of speaking with tongues) or join the church she also instructed us as is customary to ask our neighbors the same four questions. Low and behold the unknown gentleman who was on the elevator with me earlier was sitting in the next row.
I knew that was a sign from God that he wanted me to be the one to ask him personally if he had made a quality decision. At that moment I turned around and asked, he resoundingly said yes and confirmed that he wanted me to walk him down. He and I were the first ones to arrive at the altar that evening. I was so much in a state of utter joy that when I went to go back to my seat, I first went to the wrong row. After laughing at myself I walked to the correct one and just began to thank God for gentleman making a quality decision and for allowing me to assist him.
True tears of joy just began to fall from my eyes. An older woman, who I know only by casual fellowshipping, tapped me on the shoulder to hug me. I was so much on a spiritual high that I just could not almost contain myself; I think I gave her an extra squeeze. During my trip home I felt as I was floating on cloud nine. I continued to thank God for bring the gentleman, to my attention and using me to be his escort to the altar.
It’s just amazing how simply by paying attention to your surroundings, not questioning and obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit and doing an act of service can bless you right back in return. It is almost 24 hours later and I am still on a spiritual high. I served again this morning at satellite church and was taken out of my comfort zone. I was asked to sing lead for the last song of the worship set and to minister the altar call song. In the natural I made a few errors (early start on a song because I was lost in the spirit), however I had said “Ok, I will do it, Lord.” And he yet again showed out…more souls came to the kingdom!
I believe last night in a sense I to rededicated my life back Lord; and I will continue to give him the glory for each opportunity he presents to me.
TweetFriday July 2nd, 2010 – I woke up this morning with a new spring in my step. Today, I am Houston, TX bound for the first time. I am spending July 4th weekend with my sweetie and his family. I packed the night before while being coached (over the phone) by a professional, my sweetie coaches, football. As he stated, his major boyfriend duty was to make sure I went to bed with enough time to not be cranky in the morning. Mission accomplished.
Leaving for work, I said my goodbyes to my pets. My plan was to head for the airport after work. Auston my dog I could tell sensed I was leaving. He stayed even closer to me and gave me those sad puppy dog eyes that normally melt my heart. My cat Tigger on the other hand was more concerned about his next meal.
I was so excited about the day. I arrived almost 45 minutes early into the office. This will be my sweetie and my second away trip, as a couple and once again outside of me booking my flights he is planning our entire itinerary. See, for the average person this would not seem to be a big deal. However for me, there is never anything average. Professionally I assisted in and planned complex events that hosted from less than 10 or more VIPs to thousands of attendees weekly. From the venue selection, to the vendors and fine tuning of the guest list, so me having the faith in and ability to trust him completely in the planning of our trips activities, once again tells and speaks volumes.
With arriving to work early I had time to check in with my sweetie and my sister-friends. After which, I began tracking the weather conditions out of Houston and my flight. Well, what I thought was my flight. It turns out I was tracking the wrong flight all day! However I will get into how I found out about that later. I didn’t get upset however when I saw that there were delays due to extreme weather conditions (Thunderstorms and flash flooding.) I just began praying for the passengers and flight crew. I giggled with my co-workers saying I would be able to finish a book or get some writing done while I waited for my flight to arrive. Little did I know my attitude through the entire ordeal would be a testimony in it self.
When I got off from work I had two options from Penn Station to get to the JFK connector station; the subway or the LIRR. I decided after getting some sage advice from a co-worker to not take the LIRR. Instead I took the less crowded and less expensive E train (subway) to catch the AirTrain to JFK International Airport, NY Mass Transit’s greener alternative to get the world famous portal to the world. My total commuter cost to JFK was $7.50 ($2.50 for the subway and $5.00 for the AirTrain fare.)
Walking to the E train, talk about perfect timing the train arrived just as I was going through the turnstile. The complete ride was an experience. After only one stop I was able to get a seat. By that one stop I knew for a fact that I was on a train with a host of characters. From the African American young man dressed as Edward Scissorhands with his reflecting contacts, sporting two cell phones, to the little Hispanic girl that instinctively used my shoulder as a pillow; I told her mother I didn’t mind. As a child I remember doing the same thing myself while on long train ride J
When I arrived to my destination Supthin Blvd; I was already pumped because I knew I would have some stories to write about. Getting on the AirTrain I checked “my flight” again. The report was showing the plane was getting ready to taxi leaving Houston for New York. I called my sweetie who was picking me up from airport to tell him the status and he was still shocked at how calm I was and the fact I was giggling, though it looked there was almost 4 hour delay. I was just really enjoying myself. The AirTrain takes you for a full loop around JFK and I was taking in the beauty of the airport and its terminals.
When I reached my terminal, I again found joy just ridding the moving walkway. The inner kid in me wanted to ride it again on the opposite side. I didn’t though. I took a picture at the top of the escalator before going into check in and when I got my boarding pass was kind of shocked to see my ticket said my flight was leaving on time. The funny thing is that actually ignored it and checked my bag, however was led to look up at the flight board and back at my boarding pass and was pleasantly surprised to see my flight was leaving on time. I had arrived to the airport within 90 minutes of departure. My exact words were “Glory to God!”
After calling my sweetie to give him the update and my sister-friends, I sat back and marveled at God. Though I had made the error in tracking the wrong flight, he still showed me favor. My entire flight was wonderfully smooth. I know that is a testimony to how I maintained my attitude and through the power of prayer done by my intercessors. The flight time was cut from 3 hours and 50 minutes to just 2 hours and a half. I arrived in Houston almost an entire hour early.
TweetThis past Sunday, I was called in to worship as an alternate singer at one of satellite church’s my local church supports. I woke up that morning with a pressure headache that made me want to stay home.
I had planned out my trip ahead of time, but the train I was to take was pulled from the schedule. During the Praise and Worship section of service I felt actually at some points I was going to fall out.
BUT and yes I do know but cancels out all that I just said. I rejoiced all the way through the pressure. My point in all this is to say…many times we allowed the pressures of our days to move us from our God given purposes.
More and more I am learning how to take my SELF out of the way so HE meaning God can use me the way he intended to.
My job is just to obey, and when I am not sure maintain an attitude of gratitude and praise.
My question to you this morning is… Are you rejoicing through the pressure? Or are you staying in your Sinai Dessert only a praise away from your destiny?
Destiny is not a destination its a journey to be enjoyed!
Tweet1 Samuel 15:23 AMPILIFIED – For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as idolatry and teraphim (household good luck images). Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king.
Has this ever happened to you? So God has been speaking to you about doing something. Yet you have been shookin’ and divin’. Telling HIM, not right now… you are not ready to do IT; making excuses for why you are not obeying…
Hmmm… but then you are confronted again with IT. Folks have been talking about IT indirectly to you… The songs you listen to on the radio, the programs you watch on TV all refer in some way about or to IT. Your Pastor is led suddenly to teach on IT at church. It seems as if you can’t avoid IT.
While all along in your quiet time you have asking God to speak to you… However, what IT is, is not what you want to do, right? So you have been ignoring the very thing that is going to be the key to your breakthrough.
So my question to you is… Has God been trying to tell you something? If so, just say yes and do IT already!
Lela Jefferson, © 2010 All rights reserved.
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I read having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver over the summer. A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read. I have been actually sharing my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book on my blogs. Here is the latest question I studied out and gave commentary on.
Questions for Discussion or Reflection – Day Fifteen
2) According to Dr. Edward Hallowell, over half of us are chronic worriers. Which of the ten signs of a big worrier on page 33 do you struggle with? How do worry and anxiety spill over into your daily life and affect your behavior? Your physical health?
Ten Signs of a Big Worrier
Is worrying a problem in your life? Dr. Hallowell says it might be if these worry signs are true about you:
1) You find you spend much more time in useless non constructive worry than other people you know.
2) People around you comment on how much of a worrier you are.
3) You feel that it is bad luck or tempting fate not to worry.
4) Worry interferes with your work – you miss opportunities, fail to make decisions, perform at lower than optimal level.
5) Worry interferes with your close relationships – your spouse and/or friends sometimes complain that your worrying is a drain on their energy and patience.
6) You know that many of your worries are unrealistic or exaggerated, yet you cannot seem to control them.
7) Sometimes you feel overwhelmed by worry and even experience physical symptoms such as rapid breathing, shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, or trembling.
8) You feel a chronic need for reassurance even when everything is fine.
9) You feel an exaggerated fear of certain situations that other people seem to handle with little difficulty.
10) Your parents or grandparents were known as great worriers, or they suffered from an anxiety disorder.
Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting – Psalm 139:23 – 24
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Personally I believe all of us have some areas and have had times in our lives where we have worried over people, places or things that we should had turned over to God. I know for me, I have a tendency to either over analyze a thing or want something to be so prefect that I fail to even start on a project I know. I should be doing. Praise God, he is helping me in that area by bringing the right people and influences across my path and I am willing enough to accept their counsel vs. being offend by it.
2009’s I speak by faith and see by my actions strongholds are not being carried over into this New Year. Missed blessings or opportunities are not an option. I have cleaned out my inner ear to hear more clearly from God. In turn, I have begun the process of removing the waxes sort of speak of distractions, either externally or internally created.
To be continued… I welcome your comments!
The previous article can be found here.
Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com
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The Writings and Experiences of Lela Jefferson.