Posts Tagged ‘encouragement’

This past Sunday, I was called in to worship as an alternate singer at one of satellite church’s my local church supports. I woke up that morning with a pressure headache that made me want to stay home.

I had planned out my trip ahead of time, but the train I was to take was pulled from the schedule. During the Praise and Worship section of service I felt actually at some points I was going to fall out.

BUT and yes I do know but cancels out all that I just said. I rejoiced all the way through the pressure. My point in all this is to say…many times we allowed the pressures of our days to move us from our God given purposes.

More and more I am learning how to take my SELF out of the way so HE meaning God can use me the way he intended to.

My job is just to obey, and when I am not sure maintain an attitude of gratitude and praise.

My question to you this morning is… Are you rejoicing through the pressure? Or are you staying in your Sinai Dessert only a praise away from your destiny?

Destiny is not a destination its a journey to be enjoyed!

1 Samuel 15:23 AMPILIFIED – For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as idolatry and teraphim (household good luck images). Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king.

Has this ever happened to you?  So God has been speaking to you about doing something.  Yet you have been shookin’ and divin’.  Telling HIM, not right now… you are not ready to do IT; making excuses for why you are not obeying…

Hmmm… but then you are confronted again with IT.  Folks have been talking about IT indirectly to you… The songs you listen to on the radio, the programs you watch on TV all refer in some way about or to IT.  Your Pastor is led suddenly to teach on IT at church.  It seems as if you can’t avoid IT.

While all along in your quiet time you have asking God to speak to you… However, what IT is, is not what you want to do, right? So you have been ignoring the very thing that is going to be the key to your breakthrough.

So my question to you is… Has God been trying to tell you something?  If so, just say yes and do IT already!

Lela Jefferson, © 2010 All rights reserved.

– www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

“Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.” Isaiah 46:10 NLT

God has a mighty BIG sense of humor. This has been a, connect the dots week for me. I have been taking a trip down memory lane as I reconnect with my old friends, family and colleagues more and more.  They give me the opportunity to take a look at my life in hindsight….

It amazes me that I can say I have NO regrets. If I had the power to magically undo ANYTHING I have done thus far, I wouldn’t. I’ve spent too much time in the past doing, the “what if I had?” dance.  Mentally nailing myself to a cross and using past actions to halt me from moving forward; oh how I was deceived.

To paraphrase one of my mentors from a far Joyce Meyer “My greatest testimony is that I am still here!”  My second is that I am redeemed and saved by the grace of God.  That I have the ability to plead the blood over my life and say the name that is above every name… Jesus and get my prayers answered from my heavenly father.

I say that God has a mighty BIG sense of humor because if I was to have seen where and how my life has gone to get me to where I am today… 20 years ago, 10, or even 5….  I would have probably looked at God like he was crazy.  Good thing he is the only one of us that sees our end before the beginning…

Lela Jefferson, © 2010 All rights reserved.

– www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

My sisters,

We may not have the same mother or father… our skin tones different shades and hues.  However one thing that we have in common is our gender and its name…WOMAN.

Through it we have a kinship.  We have the ability to share stories of similar hormonal changes, first crushes, first kisses, loves, heart breaks, marriages and for many of us childbirth.

I write this article from my perceptive of being a single woman in her early 30s, no children yet…African American and having had my heart broken and restored.  Raised by older parents, both having since gone to be with the Lord; I write this as a Christian, born again with a heart renewed, who is grateful for everyday for new found grace.

Honestly I felt compelled to write this open letter after receiving too many calls from sister-friends or chance meetings where I have been asked for advice.  These moments have been opportunities for me to take the focus off of self and truly love on my fellow sisters.

I find it an honor to be able to minister and share my testimony with them and to hear theirs.  Encourage them that even after being hurt and having your heart stomped along with your pride and name… They like the phoenix can too rise up again.

See, I was in a relationship that spanned almost ten years off and on with someone that I allowed to mentally abuse me.  He had ties to my soul and privileges that only through the covenant status of marriage he should have received.

The details of my story are not as important as the lessons I am still learning from it.  The first lesson I learned was how to forgive myself for the part I played.  No one can abuse you unless you allow them to.  You are never without the power to at least attempt to fight back.  True love from God, goal is not to tear you down, but instead its goal is to build you up.

Being bitter and angry at someone that probably doesn’t even give you a second thought after the damage they have done is just a time waster.  You can spend years using the excuse of being hurt to block blessings God has in store for you.  New relationships, children, careers/ministries being birthed, can be blocked by you allowing your emotions to control you and keep you at an impasse.  I know this because I did it.

For two years I thought by keeping a wall up around my heart so I could lick my wounds in privacy, I was protecting myself from being hurt.  The sad truth was it hurt me more.  Instead of growing in love, I was growing in offense and the ripples affected every area of my life.

My job became my life.  My home reflected how I was feeling inside, a mess.  I was functioning, yet was empty.  My prayer life was ritual vs. being relational.  During this time God’s voice that used to be so clear for me to hear… was but a whisper…

I was short tempered, and made excuses for my rude behavior.  I tried to control others around me because I had no self control.  My friends, tried to tell me, however their constructive criticism fell on deaf ears.  Jesus though I understood him as my savior, I had not allowed to sit in the driver’s seat of my life. The Holy Spirit’s guidance by my delayed response showed evidence of disobedience.  So when my world the one I had constructed began coming crashing down around me; I was forced to stop.  Take a personal inventory and return the keys and seat to the true owner of my life, God.  To him I repented and asked help.  No man could give me hard truth I needed to change.

The scriptures that can best describe this time is in my life is Proverbs 18:10 – 12 from the Amplified Bible … “¹⁰The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the [consistently] righteous man [upright and in right standing with God] runs into it and is safe, high [above evil] and strong.    ¹¹The rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and as a high protecting wall in his own imagination and conceit.    ¹²Haughtiness comes before disaster, but humility before honor.”

The following series of poems, a few are from my 1^st book Poetry of a Black: Girl the Darkness and the Light Volume 1, others are still works in progress… In a way they tell my journey with God as he has been giving me beauty for my ashes Isaiah 61.

Some Diamonds in the Rough Never Go Beyond Infancy

I used to call you a diamond in the rough,

I saw so much potential in you

I held you down when others laughed and scorned,

said I was a fool.

I kept secrets even from my mama.

Let you live in my house rent free.

Let you see and operate in my inner court.

And act like you were the king of my Holy of Holies.

I placed all my trust in you,

only because I used to see so much potential in you.

No mere mortal man could ever appreciate what I did.

What I sacrificed, understand the tears, I shed all unselfishly.

So now I have come to the conclusion.

That some diamonds in the rough

Without the proper pressure,

never go their beyond infancy.

So as I look back at what I saw, what I thought we could be

I know now that because HE was not in between you and me

My dear, you and I were never meant to be

I played no games of the heart

I kept it real from the start

My heart was open and true to you

But I did not want to believe what I knew

A player unless he wants to change,

will always want and play the game

My focus was so much on you

That I did not know that

I had aligned myself to flesh

I needed to align my heart up,

To the most highest God,

For he would never leave me

Nor ever forsake me

He would never be untrue

Never walk out, or use me

No need for apologizes

For he would never wrong me

Abuse my love like you did to me

Though I was hurt

I have learned to forgive

The ties you had to my soul

Have been released

And until you find your own peace

And get in a relationship with HIM

You will remain just a lump of coal

That could’ve been the brightest diamond,

the world has ever seen.

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Do You Know Me?

I sit here and I ponder our relationship.
You used to call on me, so we could just talk awhile.
Spend days on an end, just you and me.
I had your back even when others didn’t
I pleaded your case against our father,
when you sinned.
I forgave you when you lied.
I encouraged you when you couldn’t do it on your own.
I protected you when you were weak and clothed you with my love before you even knew my name or could even speak.
I sent provisions, but you didn’t give me thanks.
I was ok with it all, because the promise I made and the sacrifices I gave for you.
I remember times when you were bold enough to talk to others about our relationship.
Now when someone asks about you and me you deny that we are even related.
You have let fear of rejection and thoughts of unworthiness creep into your psyche.
I ask,  do you really know me?
Am I not your friend, your brother… your teacher?
Did I not show you in my words, in my love for you, in my actions that I would never forsake you?
Trust me…. I have your back…even when you don’t think no one else does.
I will never give up on you why? Because this we have, this thing… is real… and I am real.
I am love, I am your Father God, your brother Jesus and your teacher the Holy Spirit and in me, you can trust.
I AM whatever you need me to be…
Trust me, it is not in my DNA to not tell the truth.
I swore to tell you the truth through the shedding of my own blood… not once, but twice.
I am just waiting for you to talk to me again…I have all the time in the world.

###

Goodbye

The words seem to not be able to escape from my lips…

However, I know they need to be said.

Listen, I have to get this out of my head…

I know I have the power to stop you with my declarations.

I have loved you for so long.

However, I love another more…

Our destinies seem to have different paths that don’t meet in the end.

So as I am sitting here close to being washed away from my own flood of tears.

I know I must be the one to find the courage to walk away.

Shh…Don’t speak…

I really don’t want to hear anything you have to say.

Don’t waste your time.

I’m not listening.

I am not looking back.

Goodbye.

Sin…

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Barefooted

I dare to walk alone

Yet you are always present

Your voice is so clear in my ear.

Guiding me down roads without fear

Barefooted…

Stones and pebbles lay underfoot.

Blood drawn I fall and scrap a knee

Get up… I hear… Get up…I hear so audibly.

Get UP! For righteousness sake

Arise…repent.

Barefooted

Dreams deferred

And given back renewed

Cause their source

Had to be known

My feet are healed

My eyes see clear

Barefooted walking on air…

He carries me still…

I read, I believed by faith

I lay still … I wait

Mediate and then… and then… and then…

I hear Barefooted

I’ve got new shoes

For you!

A shield a sword and armor too!

Barefooted I’ve got your shoes!

Barefooted you have been renewed…

You obeyed…

You acted by faith…

You heard my voice and did not hesitate.

Barefooted PREACHED it…

Words He never knew.

Barefooted…PREACHED it…

Words…He never knew…

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Preparing for Boaz

This poem is for my sisters
However, I hope I get some nods from the fellas…

So you say you are preparing for your Boaz.

The man, you want to share the rest of your life with
Have him call you his wife, share his name…
Maybe raise a kid or two with,
hoping even through the weight gain and stretch marks
he will love you just the same.

However…Ladies…my sister girl friends…

We think at times that we must flirt and dress
in ways that leave nothing to the imagination

That Boaz will see this and instantly fall to one knee.

Or that the perfection we see
from the corner of our eyes in the dimness of club lights
while we sip on Apple martinis could it be he?

Or when we talk
in ways that would make a sailor blush
and wonder why we are not treated with respect
and as ladies

When we make
excuses for being late unfocused
and for unkempt houses…
Thinking Boaz, your Boaz will accept you for you.

You are worth far more then jewels
though you give yourself up for less
and even sometimes for free

Your reputation should precede you
elevating you to new levels of fame
not give you reason to hold your head down in shame

Daughter of the Most High, God
reclaim your position of grace

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Lela Jefferson, © 2007 – 2010 All rights reserved.

– www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

I recently finished reading having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver.  A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read.  For the next 12 weeks, I plan to share my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book.

Going Deeper – Day Three

3)      A woman told me, “I guess I’m a Martha and that I’ll always be a Martha.”  Is it possible for our basic character to change or are we destined to live our lives stuck in a predetermined nature? Explain your answer.

When we are little we tend to be more like Mary.  Our parents and/or guardians give us the first flesh and blood examples of teachers.  Because we know nothing other than to tend to their words; like Mary we listen and obey in an essence at their feet.  As we grow older and gain more independence and experiences of our own we can develop character traits that can be more like Martha or remain like Mary’s.  The choice is ours if we want to have a balance of the two or remain either or.

I choose to strive to be an evolved version of both sisters.  The sisters we see displayed in the story of Lazarus their brother; purposeful, bold, working in concert yet at the same time having a peaceful understanding that the Master’s (Jesus’) will be done.

To be continued…

The previous article can be found here.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Lord if the tongue is that of a pen of a ready writer…Let it not be me that, is the author, but you who is the author and finisher of my faith that speaks through me. That is my prayer today! Psalm 45:1

The above statement is one of my new daily confessions.  Though I have been saved and a Christian for a number of years.  I am just truly learning the lesson of how important it is to speak life, positively not only about others but also myself.  Too many times, because I have not wanted to put my hopes up too high I have downgraded the awesomeness of God and what he can do and has done for me.

What I mean by this is if he placed desires in my heart, he is not going to tease me with them.  He is going to put me on the path to obtaining them.  However I must have consistent faith, patience and put some sweat in.  As my mother used to say “There’s no free lunch.”  In short meaning I have to WORK towards achieving my goals.

The beautiful part about the whole thing is that know I am not alone.  Each time I speak life and equally give God his due and his praise. I am not only encouraging myself I am also bringing God into the mix.  I recently dug out my high school year book because I am reconnecting with many of my friends from that time period.  In it, I found not only funny pictures of my friends and myself, but also my first resume.

My first resume was already two pages long.  I am not trying to boast.  However it reminded me, that who I am today, is not too far off from who I was then character wise.   I still list as my hobbies a love for creative writing, dancing, singing, reading, helping others and a passion for leadership development.  The only differences between the Lela I was then and the Lela I am now besides no longer having dreads, actually enjoying wearing my glasses and my switch from totally militant afro-centric clothing is life has happen and doubt has tried to creep into my psyche.  The key word here is being has TRIED.

Where I am today is not necessary where I pictured myself, all those years ago.  However, I have no regrets.  My experiences the good and the bad have shaped me and brought me to the place where my reliance is not in my own works, but in God.  It’s kind of funny.  One of my good friends recently told me God had to slow me down for me to finally stop and listen to what he has been trying to tell me for years.  Which is again as my mom used to say…”If you do your best God will do the rest”.

I have put all my faith / trust on that statement and now have put it all to rest.  As I do my part I know that God is out there working on my behalf.  For as his daughter and one of his willing servants I can expect nothing less from him.  He has already shown me how much he loves me and he desires only the best for me most importantly thorough loving correction and rebuke.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Tools I Use to Journal

• A notebook – Usually with a funky cover design with standard sized lines
• Writing instruments – A pen, pencil and/or markers
• A computer – With a word processing program
• Voice recorder – To capture my thoughts when I do not have any of the above handy
• Music and Movies to set the mood – I get inspiration a lot of times from watching and listening to inspirational teaching or music. I love music in general and if I know the song or have watched the show/movie before I can have it playing in the background just to make sure I have a secondary focus.

Why I Journal vs. Keep a Diary

Growing up I always thought if I kept a diary meant I would have to write in it every day.  My big sister Andrea purchased me a diary once and I think I wrote in it maybe three times (3) in the entire year that it was meant to record.

However when I was given a composition notebook by my dad that just had lines and told I could write, whenever and however and whatever I felt like and call it journaling… I felt freer to write.

Keeping a diary just seems too restricting to me and I by essence am a free spirit.

How my Love for Journaling Came About

I have been keeping journals since I was about 10 or 11 years old.  I was first introduced to journal writing and recording my thoughts from observing my mother when I was as young as two (2).  My mother would put a blank tape in the recorder and just begin talking expressing herself to God about what she was going through in her life, with her children, and with my Dad.  She would sometimes just let the music play or record me and my niece Abby playing.  My niece Abby and I grew up like siblings being just under two (2) years apart in age.  My mother would baby sit my niece, eventually she would end up living with us for five (5) years.

From time to time my mother would also record her thoughts into a journal or write quotes in the margins of books she was reading.  Draw pictures on pieces of scrap paper…I mean my mother if she had something going on…she would find an outlet to get it out.  I believe it was her extension to her fellowship time with God.

Now on top of all this my mother was a prayer warrior.  People to the time she passed would call her just to leave long messages on her answering machine requesting prayer.  They knew when she prayed she got results.

My dad he was another one that encouraged me to read, write and record my voice.  My father had a strong passion for photography, drawing, painting and self discovery.  I remember going on outings to bookstores with him or museums and being given a budget to purchase items.  Instead of toys growing up after a certain age I received books or historical activity kits from my father as gifts.  This ended up being a family trend (I began to receive similar gifts from my uncles and aunts on my father side of the family) and it helped to strengthen my love for the arts.

At around 10 or 11 years of age my dad saw that I had begun to take on my mother’s love for journaling.  So he purchased for me my first set of composition notebooks to record my thoughts.  Then when he saw I loved to play as if I was radio disc jockey/host, he purchased me a tape recorder and a stack of blank cassettes and would pay me $10 per tape to record books for him.  This was before the whole books on audio tape became a big industry of its own.

In those composition notebooks I captured my pre-teen experiences, poems and drawing.  When I felt led, I would share them with my parents and they would in turn encourage me even more to continue writing, so I did.  Now it is 20+ years later and I am still writing and recording my thoughts electronically.  My latest medium is however blogging.

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If you enjoyed this article and would like to begin journaling yourself.  You may now purchase an official “Memoirs of a Black Girl” journal for as little as $12 by clicking on the following link http://www.cafepress.com/memofablackgirl

Thank you again for your support of my writings!

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com & http://www.poetryofablackgirl.com

Send email to: talktous@memoirsofablackgirl.com