Posts Tagged ‘Lela Jefferson’

This past week “The Coach” and I had the opportunity to sit down, really talk and get down to the business of planning our wedding.  Personally I enjoy watching him do what he loves, it is so natural to him to coach, lead and mentor young men, and analyze and strategize the game of football.  His coaching expertise he was able to transfer to our wedding game planning.

Since we reconnected now almost 3 years ago I have seen him coach on three different levels; collegiate, professional and now high school.  So though we became engaged in May 2011, just before football season began, I knew that once the season had started, getting him to focus on wedding planning would be near to impossible.  During the season I did make a few trips out to visit with him.  We called them wedding scouting trips, me being his director of personnel:)  While most of his focus was spent coaching and mine on supporting him; we got the opportunity to pick each other’s brains a bit to discover our likes and dislikes.  For example, we addressed questions like… what type of budget were we both willing to commit to?  Were we going to elope? Would we have a destination wedding?  Where would we honeymoon?  We also touched on the topic of relocation since both of us currently live in two different states.

During those visits we agreed that we should complete the important elements of the wedding game planning, like setting a date, confirming a venue and the type of wedding we were going to have before the New Year.  Since I was also armed with the knowledge that during pre-season 2012; when the kids would be let out for the summer would be the perfect time for us to aim for setting the date for our big day and our honeymoon.  So all through last year’s season and post as his Coach’s Wife-to-Be I have been doing my part by scouting… I mean researching and submitting request for proposals to prospective vendors and venues, tapping my network of friends who had recently gotten married for tips and tricks.

So now that we are knee deep in the planning with a good amount of our wedding “To Do List” items executed.  I feel a sense of peace and relief.  I can honestly say that I am truly enjoying the process and pray that as we are not only planning for our wedding but for our marriage together we both continue to look at this as fantastic journey of new discovery.

© 2012 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

It’s the holidays and yesterday, “The Coach” and I spent some quality time with my mother’s side of the family;  “The Jones-Medleys”.  It’s funny how you can see yourself and your unique habits mirrored in your kin’s.  For example, my 7 years old grand niece at one point took out her notebook and began to write her own observations of the event.  My big sister her grandmother said that she always has her notebook with her and she enjoys writing.

At one point she asked us how to spell “freaking out”.  All the adults in the room looked around and didn’t answer her.  A few minutes later I said… ‘Wait no one answered Amiah.’  She in turn said “Auntie, I moved on and decided to use another word.” My fiancée shook his head and said that he could picture that being something I would do when I was her age.  He knows me so well

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Habakkuk 2:3 AMP – For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.

Today is Sunday, November 20, 2011… It’s officially two weeks before my 33rd birthday.  I am using this time to assess and get myself organized.  It is also less than two months before the New Year and traditionally this is the time I evaluate my “I WILL” statements in prep of creating a new list for the upcoming year.  I believe this year I made some positive strives.  However, I want to make sure I’m doing the last thing God told me to do, from writing assignments to scheduling appointments to creating a book reading schedule and a financial plan that I can actually commit myself to.  Offline I have begun to track my habits and activities no matter how small they are to gage how I spend my time.  Any time wasters must be eliminated immediately…

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

Recently I sat down and had a conversation with one of my dear friends about Men.  It was not one of those stereotypical sessions where you have two girlfriends talking about guys and dogging them out.  Trust me it was far from that scenario.  We spoke of how important it is for men to see God as their ultimate source for how to love others unconditionally, to forgive and forget, to trust, to be an example of integrity, knowledge, wisdom and how quite simply provide for themselves and their families.

You see, God is the ultimate provider and father; when he created Man he fashioned him after himself.  Man was created because God desired to have a family/people to commune, provide for and share his abundant kingdom with.   Just like God, Man has that very same desire ingrained in him; to provide for those he cares for his own family.

In order for Man to be the true provider which he was created to be he has to be whole heartily in relationship with God.  Without this relationship it will be near to impossible for him to be a true sustainer.  When Man begins to trust in only what he creates of his own hands and things of this earth like money he is trusting in what is temporal.  God is forever and will never lose value, dry up or spoil.

If there is no consistent communication between God and Man, the seeds of confusion can be planted and quickly take root and eventually bear fruit.  Fruit like fear, lack, despair, depression, anger, and desperation on the side of man.  God is confident in who he is.  Man on the other hand until he is rooted and ground in the knowledge of God and his love will always try to make things happen out of his own abilities which are limited.

Man should never get this reality twisted.  Man did not create God, God created Man. And when he did, he did so with a purpose in mind.  Man was to be fruitful and multiple on this earth.  He was to further God’s kingdom until it spread across all four corners of the globe; making a perfect copy of God’s kingdom in heaven on earth.  Man was created to be the steward of this planet.  Yet, when he disobeyed God’s commandment and did not take responsibility for his own actions, he created a communication break down.

First, he ate from the Tree of Life that God explicitly told him not to.  Then he hid from God and lastly he blamed Eve who had not been given the commandment in the first place from God to obey.  Man/Adam was the one that God ultimately held responsible for following the community / Garden of Eden, his rules.  Here is where fear came on the scene and Man began instead of looking up for guidance from God, he began to look down and around himself to see how he could make things happen…

Man, you need to look UP!

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

His Princess Bride – Love Letters from Your Prince by Sheri Rose Shepherd. I am so loving this book. I purchased it today (8/16/11) at Borders and have not been able to put it down. I highly recommend it!

5/28/11 I became engaged to the man of my tomorrow, today and yesterday. A man that is not only my Boaz, but also my Issac, Joseph, Malachi, Samuel and Paul. A man that has gone through the fire knowing the only reason why he is still standing is because of the God in Him, the Lord he serves and the calling on his life he must willingly and joyously bow down to. He is the man that gives me the desire to develop daily and truly into a Proverbs 31 Woman…

In 2006 there were a few factors that if I did not have a relationship (meaning a prayer life) with God I may have wanted to check out… nothing extreme like taking my own life. However if I could I would have just become invisible and just disappeared from the craziness of what was becoming my everyday routine. I had bouts with depression, my behavior and attitude changed, and not for the better. I was under a lot of pressure and more responsibilities than I would have cared to have. Yet quitting was not an option for me…

See, 2006 was the year my mother went home to be with the Lord. The job and career that I had successfully progressed in I no longer had a passion to do. In some ways my family was on the verge of falling apart and though I was the youngest I had to stand in place as if I was the eldest and make some life changing decisions. I felt as if I was back in time and was experiencing the emotions and happenings that I did when my dad past five years earlier. It was also the year that I was first offered an opportunity to work in fulltime ministry…

The big difference though the morning my mother passed I awoke for the first time with the unction to pray at 4AM first in the spirit for an hour and then in my natural language just to say…”God… no matter what people, places or things you must remove from my life in order for me to walk and be in your prefect will for it..I will not get angry with you, I so swear.”

Little did I know that promise I cried out to God in the wee hours of the morning on March 15, 2006 would be tested time and time again in the years to come…

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

So… you missed the mark. You sinned. You were disobedient to God’s will / His word. Now what? FYI Its okay, God already knows what you did. Will there be consequences? Sure there will be. It’s okay to go to him and talk about it and get the instruction on how to get back on track. God is God, he created you and he has given you a purpose to fulfill. But first you need to get over yourself… (YOU-R-SELF)…  relax he is waiting for you; he has made an opening just for you in his busy schedule.

Psalm 32 (The Message)

A David Psalm

¹ Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start,
your slate’s wiped clean.

² Count yourself lucky—
God holds nothing against you
and you’re holding nothing back from him.

³ When I kept it all inside,
my bones turned to powder,
my words became daylong groans.

⁴ The pressure never let up;
all the juices of my life dried up.

⁵ Then I let it all out;
I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.”

Suddenly the pressure was gone—
my guilt dissolved,
my sin disappeared.

⁶ These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray;
when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts
we’ll be on high ground, untouched.

⁷ God’s my island hideaway,
keeps danger far from the shore,
throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.

⁸ Let me give you some good advice;
I’m looking you in the eye
and giving it to you straight:

⁹ “Don’t be ornery like a horse or mule
that needs bit and bridle
to stay on track.”

¹⁰ God-defiers are always in trouble;
God-affirmers find themselves loved
every time they turn around.

¹¹ Celebrate God.
Sing together—everyone!
All you honest hearts, raise the roof!

© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.

Exodus 34:9 (Amplified Bible)

⁹And he said, If now I have found favor and loving-kindness in Your sight, O Lord, let the Lord, I pray You, go in the midst of us, although it is a stiff-necked people, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for Your inheritance.

Did you know a generational curse can be broken and become a generational lesson…? How? If it is received by a teachable heart, humble spirit, which is also willing to make sacrifices and make, changes by faith for the better.

The other day as I was entering my apartment building I was confronted with something that I had wished I hadn’t. Yet, it brought me to the point where I felt compelled to write this article. What I saw was a young girl, the daughter of one of one of my childhood playmates clearly pregnant. The reason why I wish I had not seen it was because just a generation ago, her mother had been in her shoes; under 18 and pregnant with her. Just like her mother, she was very beautiful, popular and book smart. However, again just like her mother, she had let temptations win the battle to bring her to her present state underage and having a baby out of wedlock. To be very frank, she could have been my own daughter, had I made different decisions.

My mother too had become pregnant before she turned 18 and before she was married. Not with me but with one of my siblings our ages span a difference of almost 30 years. Unlike my friend though my mother who was born in the late 1930s; grew up in foster care because of my grandmother’s early death and my grandfather’s inability to take care of his 5 children on his own. He was an alcoholic, and a World War II veteran that had his own demons. When he married my grandmother her family had disowned her. She had come from a prominent family in Barbados and my grandfather was a half black half Native American service man from Virginia.

Due to my immediate family strong influence and their desire not to see me repeat their own iniquities, instead of condemning her, I felt in my own way I needed to empower her. I find that too many times we look at how we meet a person or see them in their present state and typecast them in a sense cursing them. What I wanted to do was envision her future as bright as it could be.

For it is not my place to judge nor did I want to; in my heart and under my breathe I began to pray. First interceding that the strain of sin that seemed to still be active in her family to stop and also let loose a blessing that her child and her would finally learn the lesson and become the generations to be delivered, healed and restored from iniquity.

It only takes a generation to make a difference, and change the course of a family; you can be that generation.

© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.

Every time I go to Malcolm Shabazz Harlem Market (116th and Lenox Avenue, Harlem NY); I have to make sure that I shop with budget and with a time limit.  This past Friday evening, I stopped by my favorite African bag designer Mr. Dam’s booth  and picked up three pieces.  My original goal was to just get one bag… but when I looked around I fell in love with three!

© 2011, Lela Jefferson. All rights reserved.