Posts Tagged ‘overcoming fear’

I read having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver over the summer.  A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read.  I have been actually sharing my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book on my blogs.  Here is the latest question I studied out and gave commentary on.

Questions for Discussion or Reflection – Day Fifteen

2) According to Dr. Edward Hallowell, over half of us are chronic worriers.  Which of the ten signs of a big worrier on page 33 do you struggle with?  How do worry and anxiety spill over into your daily life and affect your behavior? Your physical health?

Ten Signs of a Big Worrier

Is worrying a problem in your life? Dr. Hallowell says it might be if these worry signs are true about you:

1)      You find you spend much more time in useless non constructive worry than other people you know.

2)      People around you comment on how much of a worrier you are.

3)      You feel that it is bad luck or tempting fate not to worry.

4)      Worry interferes with your work – you miss opportunities, fail to make decisions, perform at lower than optimal level.

5)      Worry interferes with your close relationships – your spouse and/or friends sometimes complain that your worrying is a drain on their energy and patience.

6)      You know that many of your worries are unrealistic or exaggerated, yet you cannot seem to control them.

7)      Sometimes you feel overwhelmed by worry and even experience physical symptoms such as rapid breathing, shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, or trembling.

8)      You feel a chronic need for reassurance even when everything is fine.

9)      You feel an exaggerated fear of certain situations that other people seem to handle with little difficulty.

10)   Your parents or grandparents were known as great worriers, or they suffered from an anxiety disorder.

Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting – Psalm 139:23 – 24

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Personally I believe all of us have some areas and have had times in our lives where we have worried over people, places or things that we should had turned over to God.   I know for me, I have a tendency to either over analyze a thing or want something to be so prefect that I fail to even start on a project I know. I should be doing.  Praise God, he is helping me in that area by bringing the right people and influences across my path and I am willing enough to accept their counsel vs. being offend by it.

2009’s I speak by faith and see by my actions strongholds are not being carried over into this New Year.  Missed blessings or opportunities are not an option.  I have cleaned out my inner ear to hear more clearly from God.  In turn, I have begun the process of removing the waxes sort of speak of distractions, either externally or internally created.

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

The previous article can be found here.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

I recently finished reading having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver.  A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read.  For the next 12 weeks, I plan to share my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book.

Questions for Going Deeper – Day Ten

1) In this passage how did God minister to Elijah in the midst of his discouragement (1 Kings 19: 1-8)?  How has God ministered to you when you felt alone and were hurting?

In this passage of scripture Elijah is ministered to by God with the answering of his prayers.  He told the Lord that he felt he was not strong enough to continue on to fight Jezebel and her maneuvers; that he was no better than his fathers before him.  God being true to his form; gave Elijah what he asked for.  He released him from his assignment, but at the same feed and protected him.

When I have felt alone and hurting.  God has presented me with others to minister to, to keep my mind off myself.  To show me that what I think may be bad only pales in comparison to what someone else maybe going through.  Other times he has even humbled me; by allowing me to hear the testimonies others that endured and were able to praise God in the end.

Nothing that the world can toss me I cannot overcome, with God and through my faith in him!

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

The previous article can be found here.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

I recently finished reading having a Mary Heart in a Martha World – Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life by Joanna Weaver.  A book I now highly recommend for all women, young and old to read.  For the next 12 weeks, I plan to share my findings as I journey through the accompanying Bible Study Mrs. Weaver placed at the end of the book.

Questions for Going Deeper – Day Nine

1) All of us have felt alone-even great heroes of the faith felt this way.  Read 1 Kings 19:1-18.  How did the “Deadly Ds” of distraction, discouragement, and doubt attack Elijah after the great victory over the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18?  I’ve completed the first one as a example:

DISTRACTION:  Jezbel’s anger made him run for his life.

DISCOURAGEMENT:  He showed his discouragement by hiding away and taking offense with Israel on the Lord’s behalf.  He internalized worries and concerns that were the Lord’s not his own. He forgot his lane or role in their relationship; him and God.  He was the servant not the master.

DOUBT: Elijah showed his doubt when he lost his confidence in himself and his relationship with God.  He allowed fear to make him believe God could no longer protect him; he lost faith.  When this happened all that God could do was instruct him to appoint those that would succeed him and kings of Israel and Judah.

To be continued… I welcome your comments!

The previous article can be found here.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Lord if the tongue is that of a pen of a ready writer…Let it not be me that, is the author, but you who is the author and finisher of my faith that speaks through me. That is my prayer today! Psalm 45:1

The above statement is one of my new daily confessions.  Though I have been saved and a Christian for a number of years.  I am just truly learning the lesson of how important it is to speak life, positively not only about others but also myself.  Too many times, because I have not wanted to put my hopes up too high I have downgraded the awesomeness of God and what he can do and has done for me.

What I mean by this is if he placed desires in my heart, he is not going to tease me with them.  He is going to put me on the path to obtaining them.  However I must have consistent faith, patience and put some sweat in.  As my mother used to say “There’s no free lunch.”  In short meaning I have to WORK towards achieving my goals.

The beautiful part about the whole thing is that know I am not alone.  Each time I speak life and equally give God his due and his praise. I am not only encouraging myself I am also bringing God into the mix.  I recently dug out my high school year book because I am reconnecting with many of my friends from that time period.  In it, I found not only funny pictures of my friends and myself, but also my first resume.

My first resume was already two pages long.  I am not trying to boast.  However it reminded me, that who I am today, is not too far off from who I was then character wise.   I still list as my hobbies a love for creative writing, dancing, singing, reading, helping others and a passion for leadership development.  The only differences between the Lela I was then and the Lela I am now besides no longer having dreads, actually enjoying wearing my glasses and my switch from totally militant afro-centric clothing is life has happen and doubt has tried to creep into my psyche.  The key word here is being has TRIED.

Where I am today is not necessary where I pictured myself, all those years ago.  However, I have no regrets.  My experiences the good and the bad have shaped me and brought me to the place where my reliance is not in my own works, but in God.  It’s kind of funny.  One of my good friends recently told me God had to slow me down for me to finally stop and listen to what he has been trying to tell me for years.  Which is again as my mom used to say…”If you do your best God will do the rest”.

I have put all my faith / trust on that statement and now have put it all to rest.  As I do my part I know that God is out there working on my behalf.  For as his daughter and one of his willing servants I can expect nothing less from him.  He has already shown me how much he loves me and he desires only the best for me most importantly thorough loving correction and rebuke.

Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

The words seem to not be able to escape from my lips…

However, I know they need to be said.

Listen, I have to get this out of my head…

I know I have the power to stop you with my declarations.

I have loved you for so long.

However, I love another more…

Our destinies seem to have different paths that don’t meet in the end.

So as I am sitting here close to being washed away from my own flood of tears.

I know I must be the one to find the courage to walk away.

Shh…Don’t speak…

I really don’t want to hear anything you have to say.

Don’t waste your time.

I’m not listening.

I am not looking back.

Goodbye.

Sin…

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By Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

& http://www.poetryofablackgirl.com

By definition the word Termination means to come to a closing, to bring something to an end.

As I look back as another chapter of my life has closed. I smile at the realization that God has prepared a new one for me. I know what I have gone through has only prepared me for what I am about to experience…an explosion of blessings.

On January 29^th, 2009 I was released from my last place of employment. Most people may have looked at the situation and say to themselves “What am I going to do now? I spent the last two (2) almost three (3) years of my life working for this company! How could they?”

In that split second of realization of what was happening to me, that I was being released I made conscience decision. One not to act like a fool or even cry and two that I did not work for this company or Man in general instead I worked for God. Three that I also wanted to leave with grace and peace, so I sucked up the one tear that was trying to fall repented and thanked them for the opportunity. Finally I let them know I would be available if they needed anything and I also did not want to leave without giving them a list of open projects I was working on.

When asked if I wanted to give a written statement otherwise known as an excuse for my actions. I said no. That whatever I needed to say I would take it to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him to correct whatever He felt in my character needed correcting.

At that point I was given the honor to go back to my office and prepare for my departure. As I sat for that last time in front of my computer, I thought to myself ‘Why Lord am I doing this? Putting a list together to help them?’ At that moment I heard a very quiet voice which I knew to be the Holy Spirit say … “You are doing this because you are a child of God and not of the Devil. You will not make this challenge a blessing blocker for your life but a stepping stone towards what I have for you. I am not done with you, yet!”

At that moment I felt peace come over me like a wave. Every action I did afterward was almost mechanical. When I finally got home I posed another question not to myself, but instead to my Heavenly Father my Jehovah Jireh (my provider) and said to Him in prayer ‘What do YOU want me to do now?’ Again I heard a quiet voice in my head…the voice told me “Read what I lead your hand to read, watch what I lead your eyes to watch, speak what I tell you to speak and write what I tell you to write.” For days that led into nights… to weeks that is all I did and I don’t believe I have ever been closer in tune with the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit began to open up my mind’s eye after I began to pray for wisdom to show me that I had everything I needed around me. From books I had purchased to articles I had printed out, to writings I kept in journals and a business plan and income generating ideas from years past to people I knew.

He even pressed on my Pastors’ hearts and those of guest ministers at my church to teach lessons on How to pray and hear from God…How not to overcome and recognize the different faces of fear… They even have taught on how to believe in the peace of God and how to SPEAK against bouts of worry and condemnation.

This last month or so has been like God has been speaking directly to me no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing. It feels as if my ears had been clogged and finally they were open again to hear Him tell me what He needed me to do.

I am just thankful for the people he has brought into my life during this time. And for all those that are waiting for me to say “All is not well and that I have fear.” You can keep on waiting for its not going to happen.

I can proudly proclaim that “Fear” is no longer a word in my vocabulary. I am living and have the peace of God. He is not done with me yet!

Scriptures I am standing on:

1 Corinthians 9:19 KJV
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.

Proverbs 31 (Whole Chapter)

Psalm 49 (Whole Chapter)

Psalm 51 (Whole Chapter)

Psalm 90 (Whole Chapter)

Psalm 91 (Whole Chapter)

1 Kings (Whole Chapter)

1 & 2 Samuel (Whole Chapter)

Nehemiah (Whole Chapter)

Esther (Whole Chapter)

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Lela Jefferson is an aspiring writer and New Media Public Relations Professional. She is the owner of Urban PR Connection – A New Media PR Firm. She is also working on her first book her memoirs and editing a collection of her poetry scheduled for release winter 2009-10. You can learn more about Lela at her Memoirs Blog: http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com