Posts Tagged ‘self examination’

It’s the holidays and yesterday, “The Coach” and I spent some quality time with my mother’s side of the family;  “The Jones-Medleys”.  It’s funny how you can see yourself and your unique habits mirrored in your kin’s.  For example, my 7 years old grand niece at one point took out her notebook and began to write her own observations of the event.  My big sister her grandmother said that she always has her notebook with her and she enjoys writing.

At one point she asked us how to spell “freaking out”.  All the adults in the room looked around and didn’t answer her.  A few minutes later I said… ‘Wait no one answered Amiah.’  She in turn said “Auntie, I moved on and decided to use another word.” My fiancée shook his head and said that he could picture that being something I would do when I was her age.  He knows me so well

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

“I’m tired of this mess” … Have you ever caught yourself saying that or thinking it as you were working on something on with someone else?  Have you ever prayed for patience just before the mess began and wondered why what little patience you had to begin with was being tested?

Newsflash… You asked for the mess…ahem I mean the test.  How do you think patience is gained?  A muscle only shows definition when it has been developed… So are the godly attributes that make up good character.  Just pass the test… you asked for the mess and your proctor the Holy Spirit is with you.

John 16:33 MSG ^31-33 Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

© 2011 Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com

Totally random… So I have this love, really a lust relationship going on with Reese’s peanut butter cups lately.  Well, today I went to Kmart to pick up a few items and they had jumbo bags of them on sale for $2!  In my weakness I picked up 2 bags and brought them to the office.

However,  me and God are working on something in regards to my weight and making healthier choices when it comes to my eating habits…the gym is for another blog article

Going back to the chocolate, instead of hoarding them in my desk drawer and slowly eating both bags over the course of a week, and feeling guilty for doing so, just because I got them on sale.  I decided to share both bags with my co-workers and in the process made a few new buddies.

My point in sharing this little victory is that if you don’t take the time to calculate the cost of your actions, their price in the long run may inflate to a price beyond what you thought was originally a savings.

I was wrong with my initial intentions of buying the bags of candy.  However in the end I was able to make a U-turn from the detour off the path of gaining more discipline in my life and in the process made more connections at my office vs. gaining extra pounds from a though delicious chocolate binge

What is the purpose of purpose?  Is it not what motivates us to get up in the morning to pursue things that seem so far off that if only a dream?  For what is a dream?  The stuff of our imaginations slowly peeking at the walls of our containment; slowly taking form in our reality if only we dared to believe… AND step out.  I purpose to dream… BIG what about you?

Totally random thoughts this morning or maybe not; this past week I have been in self examination mode yet again.   I purposely put in my schedule time to check my actions to see if they were lining up with the WORD of God or were beginning to be based in fear and just plain selfishness.  Whenever I feel this happening it is a clear sign that I need to stop and recharge my spirit and body.  Basically I needed to check my spiritual thermostat to see if I was running on empty, versus my overflow.

Areas I needed to examine were my volunteerism (spiritual employment), my relationships with people and my finances.  Ultimately was I being moved or lead?

There is something most folks don’t get when they accept God’s call in serving HIS people.  There is a heighten level of accountability and responsibility that goes along with it.  That means you need to make sure that your actions are lining up to HIS Word.

It is not okay just to agree with the WORD of God or anything you purpose your mind to study you must engage it.  Allow it to speak to you and change you from the inside out.  Every leader (that means you) has responsibilities and is accountable to someone.  You don’t believe me do something and watch what happens…

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Recently, I was given the opportunity to re-enter the workforce in a new industry from my former.  Previously, I worked in non-for-profit religious and before that direct marketing.  This new industry actually is one that has been around me my entire life.  Many of my relatives have worked in it or currently still do so.  That industry is healthcare.

The most important and awesome part about the experience is the opportunity came suddenly after a shocking self examination.  What I realized was that I had been neglecting (in my prayer time) the topic of gaining new employment.  In the natural, I was still being diligent calling my recruiters and applying for opportunities, reviewing my skill sets and working on clarifying my personal brand (online and offline.)

However, spiritually I had stopped thanking God for my new job in advance.  On the flipside, I had begun studying and confessing over my business ventures.  However, I needed to schedule more time for increase study including goal setting.  I was lacking balance and once I realized that and corrected it; it was less than 24 hours that I received a phone call about this new opportunity!

All this was realized when the workaholic in me began to be decoded.  Webster defines the word  ”workaholic” as being a person that is a compulsive worker and one of the definitions for the word “decoded” means to discover the underlying meaning.  The one thing that is powerful about prayer it is supposed to be a two way dialogue between you and God.  When you take the time to stop talking it is amazing what God can drop into your spirit.  For me, it was being shown why I had in the past always seemed so busy and why while I was working on projects, I was not able to close them out.

The Holy Spirit gently corrected and guided me through the process of an honest self assessment of how I had been managing my time.

• First I needed to be realistic with my schedule.  Remembering to put God first.  Giving him undivided time and focus; more than I had before.
• Not taking on new projects without first closing out current ones and consulting God in prayer about taking new ones.
• Re-learning how to and socializing offline with like minded people.
• Exploring my environment for new opportunities (neighborhood and community)
• Not second guessing when God has already given me peace in my spirit on projects that take me out of my comfort zone.
• Tapping into my personal networks, family, friends and former colleagues.   I now have mentors not just supporters.
• Truly seeing my life and myself as God sees me as someone and something that is precious and worthy to be loved, shared and shown appreciation.

Now getting back to the topic of this article the decoding of a former workaholic, my life during the last year has become more balanced.  Though my schedule on the outside looks fuller it is filled with manageable items.

No longer is work, my life it is a function or aspect of it.  I truly know and trust that God is my source and by living a balanced life; I am giving him the greatest of me really for the first time.  I know it is not his will to see me stressed out, cranky and snappy to those I love and care about.

Two questions I now constantly ask myself…

1. How can my spirit yield when called upon by the Holy Spirit if it is stressed?
2. Why should I hold onto concerns He/God has given me the okay to give to Him?

So as I continue to be decoded…

1. Leave work on time
2. Eat my lunch away from my desk
3. Take care of my physical (using my gym membership), mental and spiritual health
4. Foster my relationships
5. And most importantly believing by faith that God plus me is okay

I can confidently say I am a former workaholic that is being not only decoded but also re-invented and classified as passionate.

Lela Jefferson

http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com