A quick reflection…on seeds sown.

One of the “I WILL” statements I listed for 2009 was to basically be a better steward over my relationships.  For those that do not know what an, “I WILL” statement is… well think of them as New Year’s resolutions that you actually plan on doing.   For the past two years I have compiled a list of things I want to do / develop in and actually go into contract with myself, witnessed by God and my friend/support base to keep me accountable.

Well, top of this year’s listing was for me to be a better steward over all of my relationships as I mentioned above.  Letting those that I love and care about really know how I feel about them and what they mean to me.    Reconnect with my family members, old friends and get to really know newer ones.

I am striving to be a better friend and support to those that have made any kind of impact on my life.  For so many years I focused on work, and work some more and my career that I lost sight kind of what was really important.  Enjoying this life I was given and those I was blessed to experience it with.

I believe I did this more so as a defense mechanism after first my dad, god father and one of my uncles passing in less than a year of each other.  Then my mother five years later which put a strain on my relationships with my siblings on both sides of my family also my relationship with my former beau.  Toss in there a few job changes and physical changes (cutting off my dreadlocks after 15 years of growing them and losing about 26 pounds.)  If I did not have God, I don’t know how I would have been able to cope.

Getting back to me being a good steward over my relationships “I Will” statement, with making this commitment and really working being more pliable I have learned more about myself in these last six months for both the good and the bad compared to in the last three years.  The bad are areas where I need more development and the good… are areas that I want to work on expanding.  So in an essence, I am still learning and I am still developing.  I know I have only begun to scratch the surface…However I can only honestly say that the seeds that I sow now are more so good seeds than bad ones…

© 2009, Lela Jefferson Fagan. All rights reserved.

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