Lord if the tongue is that of a pen of a ready writer…Let it not be me that, is the author, but you who is the author and finisher of my faith that speaks through me. That is my prayer today! Psalm 45:1
The above statement is one of my new daily confessions. Though I have been saved and a Christian for a number of years. I am just truly learning the lesson of how important it is to speak life, positively not only about others but also myself. Too many times, because I have not wanted to put my hopes up too high I have downgraded the awesomeness of God and what he can do and has done for me.
What I mean by this is if he placed desires in my heart, he is not going to tease me with them. He is going to put me on the path to obtaining them. However I must have consistent faith, patience and put some sweat in. As my mother used to say “There’s no free lunch.” In short meaning I have to WORK towards achieving my goals.
The beautiful part about the whole thing is that know I am not alone. Each time I speak life and equally give God his due and his praise. I am not only encouraging myself I am also bringing God into the mix. I recently dug out my high school year book because I am reconnecting with many of my friends from that time period. In it, I found not only funny pictures of my friends and myself, but also my first resume.
My first resume was already two pages long. I am not trying to boast. However it reminded me, that who I am today, is not too far off from who I was then character wise. I still list as my hobbies a love for creative writing, dancing, singing, reading, helping others and a passion for leadership development. The only differences between the Lela I was then and the Lela I am now besides no longer having dreads, actually enjoying wearing my glasses and my switch from totally militant afro-centric clothing is life has happen and doubt has tried to creep into my psyche. The key word here is being has TRIED.
Where I am today is not necessary where I pictured myself, all those years ago. However, I have no regrets. My experiences the good and the bad have shaped me and brought me to the place where my reliance is not in my own works, but in God. It’s kind of funny. One of my good friends recently told me God had to slow me down for me to finally stop and listen to what he has been trying to tell me for years. Which is again as my mom used to say…”If you do your best God will do the rest”.
I have put all my faith / trust on that statement and now have put it all to rest. As I do my part I know that God is out there working on my behalf. For as his daughter and one of his willing servants I can expect nothing less from him. He has already shown me how much he loves me and he desires only the best for me most importantly thorough loving correction and rebuke.
Lela Jefferson – http://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com
© 2009 – 2014, Lela Jefferson Fagan. All rights reserved.
