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Who is in Pursuit of Whom? And who are you Pursuing? – Christian Courting vs. Dating

2 Corinthians 6:14 (The Message)

14-18Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:
“I’ll live in them, move into them;
I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good,” says God.
“Don’t link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I’ll be a Father to you;
you’ll be sons and daughters to me.”
The Word of the Master, God.

I will be the first one to tell you, when it comes to matters of the heart and romance in general I am not an expert. I can only speak from my own experiences. I can count my relationships actually on one hand. One of which lasted way beyond its prescribed expiration date, it had just been bad and personal pride and a genuine desire for me to see it work had me hold on and be in pursuit of what turned out to be an unhappily ever after. Putting that all aside for it is in my past…

As I have written about before I am a big opponent to the term dating when it comes at least to describing my own current relationship. Dating by loose definition has an expiration it certainly must end. Courting on the other hand has a purpose in mind from its beginning and eventually will bring the two people in that courtship into covenant with each other through matrimony. As I see it my Intended has been courting me since we reconnected almost 3 years ago. We were blessed to have a shared history, yes. He and I went to high school together, but that was really it. When we graduated we parted ways and at the time were just acquaintances.

So, oddly enough when fate reconnected us and we began working on establishing a friendship based on our common interest of wanting to grow in closer relationship with God. The thought that we would slowly but surely grow in love with each never crossed my mind. It just happened because at first I saw him just as my friend. A person I had fond memories of from high school and was enjoying getting to know.

All of us have heard the term that when getting to know someone it is important to have “lengthy conversations”. To tell you the truth, the advice should really be given to have “lengthy quality conversations.” Relationships that are meant to last require substance God’s word is the best.

Whether you are “dating” or enjoying a courtship just remember to always check to whom you are pursuing and who is in pursuit of whom…

Matthew 6:33 (The Message)

30-33“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

© 2011 – 2014, Lela Jefferson Fagan. All rights reserved.

Lela Fagan (Jefferson) is the author of the book “Poetry of a Black Girl: The Darkness and the Light” and lead blogger at “Memoirs of a Black Girl”. Lela is an avid reader “A Real Bookworm” of all things in print. She finds joy in sharing socially and blogging about topics that matter the most to her. Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. Lela now lives in Houston, TX with her husband Oji, an educator and Football Coach. @LelaJefferson - See more at:

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