Question…”How many times have you asked GOD to USE you in prayer? Yet, when HE actually calls you into service you run from HIS heavenly urging like a draft dodger… CHECK your HEART is it MOTIVES DRIVEN or SPIRIT LED?”
Definition: USE (Verb) – Take, hold, or deploy (something) as a means of accomplishing a purpose or achieving a result; employ.
The other day the above inquiry was one of my Facebook statuses. It was as much a question to me as it was to my network. After recently relocating to Houston, I was confronted with having to ask myself this exact question on a number of topics: From experiencing and learning how to live a balanced life 24/7 with my husband; for the first 9 months of our marriage we lived in two different states, to where we would worship on Sunday.
See, I am genesis member of my local church back home, served/and still presently serve in volunteer leadership and for a time was employed full-time by the ministry. So, the idea of attending a different house of worship was not appealing to me. God would have it though that there is a satellite affiliate to my home church facilitated by a loving couple in my new city. However due to the distance and my current position as a non-driver we have ended up splitting our actual presence between the satellite location and a church plant affiliated with the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) and pastured by one of my husband’s co-workers at the school he teaches and coaches.
At this church, my husband had been flourishing and being stretched spiritually in servant hood. In many ways, he told me it reminded him of his own home church back in Albany where he had been nurtured and baptized. Seeing this and hearing the powerful word and experiencing a period of just abandoned worship softened my heart towards the fact we were not attending “my church”.
I began to hear more clearly what God had been trying to tell me all along since my move; in this transition period he was shifting my heart back to him. He was telling me to abandon my will FULLY back to him and let myself be used (just as I had been praying to him to do) where he had planted me for this season. He was telling me to trust in him. Just believe what he has in store for me is greater than what I could have ever imagined for myself. At that point, I broke down and cried and repented for walking in selfness.
That weekend when we attended service again at this church I was asked to lead worship. For anyone that knows me personally, they know the ministry that I have consistently served under is Music. In the midst of the time of ministering to the audience of One / Jesus, I felt a washed with his love. The entire next week afterward; however, I had mixed emotions. I knew the flood gates of my soul were about to burst. I had been given the opportunity again to assist in my gifting.
My husband came home one night to tell me that his co-worker/the pastor wanted to talk to me, and he had given him my number. Truthfully speaking I wanted to punch him just for a split second. Why? Because I was dodging God’s call to serve where I was; the little girl in me wanted to serve where I wanted to serve.
In my private time, he was so gentle but yet firm with me; telling me over and over again, showing me in his word why I should trust him in this situation. When the pastor called me finally that week, and we spoke; he truly blessed me. He told me that he could see the maturity of my worship how instead of just singing a solo I wanted to be used to lead the people into a time of praise and worship. He also told me that he understood that I was only there for a season. However he felt led to use me if I should be willing each time I was in attendance. I agreed, and we ended our conversation. I knew with my agreement I needed to make sure I was prepared to minister whenever called…
“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.” Mark 13:32 NLT
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© 2013, Lela Jefferson Fagan. All rights reserved.