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# Memoirs of a Black Girl

The Writing, Faith & Family Life of Author Lela J. Fagan.

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Stories & Musings](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/writings-and-experiences/)
- [The Soundtrack Between the Miles | How Music, Faith & Travel Shaped My Story](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/07/23/the-soundtrack-between-the-miles-how-music-faith-travel-shaped-my-story/) - Some journeys are remembered by destinations. Others are remembered by songs. In Part 12 of Found in the Margins, discover how buses, books, worship music, and family shaped the woman I would become.
- [The First Blueprint: Preparing for Marriage Before Planning a Wedding | Found in the Margins Part 11](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/07/13/the-first-blueprint-preparing-for-marriage-before-planning-a-wedding-found-in-the-margins-part-11/) - Long before our wedding day, my husband and I were building a marriage through intentional conversations, biblical counsel, Communion, and covenant. Act Two of Found in the Margins begins with the blueprint beneath the ceremony.
- [The Village Was Already Waiting | From the Margins Part 10](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/07/13/the-village-was-already-waiting-from-the-margins-part-10/) - Sometimes starting over is really discovering the people, purpose, and preparation God has been weaving together all along.
- [He Treated Me Like a Lady | Found in the Margins Part 9](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/07/05/he-treated-me-like-a-lady-found-in-the-margins-part-9/) - Love isn't always found in grand gestures. In Part Nine of Found in the Margins, Lela Jefferson Fagan reflects on a courtship built on respect, conversation, faith, and the quiet choices that became the foundation of a lasting marriage.
- [You Are. Do You Have a Problem With That? | Found in the Margins Part 8](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/07/05/you-are-do-you-have-a-problem-with-that-found-in-the-margins-part-8/) - One text message changed everything. In Part Eight of Found in the Margins, Lela Jefferson Fagan reflects on recognizing intentional courtship, seeking clarity, and discovering that love had already been growing through friendship, faith, and trust.
- [Before I Knew I Was Being Courted | Found in the Margins Part 7](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/06/29/before-i-knew-i-was-being-courted-found-in-the-margins-part-7/) - Before I realized I was being intentionally courted, God was restoring every area of my life. In Part Seven of Found in the Margins, Lela Jefferson Fagan reflects on friendship, faith, career, family, and the quiet moments that laid the foundation for lasting love.
- [I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me | Found in the Margins: Part Six](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/06/24/i-didnt-know-he-was-courting-me-found-in-the-margins-part-six/) - When Lela Jefferson Fagan reconnects with a high school classmate, simple conversations about faith, leadership, and purpose quietly become the foundation for marriage. Part Six of Found in the Margins explores Christian courtship, friendship, and God’s perfect timing.
- [The Date That Never Happened: How a Wedding Invitation Led Me to My Future Husband | Found in the Margins Part 5](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/06/13/the-date-that-never-happened-how-a-wedding-invitation-led-me-to-my-future-husband-found-in-the-margins-part-5/) - A lifelong friend’s wedding invitation became part of a much larger story. In Part Five of Found in the Margins, Lela Jefferson Fagan reflects on friendship, faith, community, and how God introduced her to her future husband long before she realized it.
- [The List Knew Before I Did: How a Forgotten List Led Me Back to Love | Found in the Margins Part 4](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/06/09/the-list-knew-before-i-did-how-a-forgotten-list-led-me-back-to-love-found-in-the-margins-part-4/) - At nineteen, I wrote a list describing the qualities I hoped to find in a future husband. Years later, after grief, healing, unemployment, faith, and personal growth, I rediscovered that list and realized it described the man who would become my husband.
- [Seven Things I Wanted to Fix About Myself | Found in the Margins Part 3](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/06/06/seven-things-i-wanted-to-fix-about-myself-found-in-the-margins-part-3/) - A forgotten goals list from 2009 reveals seven areas of growth that still matter today. In Part 3 of Found in the Margins, Lela Jefferson Fagan reflects on faith, family, healing, and lifelong transformation.
- [The Year I Thought I Was Starting Over | Found in the Margins Part 2](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/06/04/the-year-i-thought-i-was-starting-over-found-in-the-margins-part-2/) - What felt like starting over in 2009 was actually a season of rebuilding. In Part 2 of Found in the Margins, Lela Jefferson Fagan reflects on friendship, healing, faith, provision, and the life God was quietly preparing.
- [The Woman Who Wrote the Prayer Didn't Know the Ending Yet](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/29/the-woman-who-wrote-the-prayer-didnt-know-the-ending-yet/) - While sorting through old Bible study notes from 2009, I rediscovered prayers, goals, and declarations written during a season of healing and transition. Looking back 17 years later, I can see how God was quietly rebuilding my life.
- [What Character Am I Most Like? ChatGPT's Answer Surprised Me](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/29/what-character-am-i-most-like-chatgpts-answer-surprised-me/) - When I asked ChatGPT which television or movie character I reminded it of, I expected a fun answer. Instead, I received an unexpected reflection on identity, growth, leadership, and the qualities I value most.
- [Sometimes the Hardest Part of Change Is Mourning What Was Familiar](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/27/sometimes-the-hardest-part-of-change-is-mourning-what-was-familiar/) - Change is inevitable, but grieving what was familiar is part of healing. Lela J. Fagan reflects on loss, faith, transition, and trusting God through life’s hardest seasons.
- [Left My Purse. Left It All With God.](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/17/left-my-purse-left-it-all-with-god/) - In this heartfelt reflection on God’s provision in unexpected moments, Lela J. Fagan shares how a forgotten purse, a chaotic day, and children’s ministry became reminders that God can use even life’s interruptions for purpose, positioning, and provision. 💛
- [Returning Different: I’m Not New, But I’m New](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/17/returning-different-im-not-new-but-im-new/) - A raw and redemptive reflection on church hurt, healing, motherhood, and returning to leadership after years away. Church hurt didn’t get the final word.
- [We Are Not AI: The Cost of Transactional Communication in a Convenience Culture](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/03/we-are-not-ai-the-cost-of-transactional-communication-in-a-convenience-culture/) - Are we treating people like AI? This reflective article explores ghosting culture, transactional communication, and the need for intentional pause in a world built on urgency.
- [Covenant, Compliance, and Calling: What a Broken Tub Taught Me](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/05/02/covenant-compliance-and-calling-what-a-broken-tub-taught-me/) - A real-life reflection on faith, marriage, motherhood, and learning to ask for help. Discover how one unexpected home repair revealed deeper lessons about stewardship, obedience, and preparation for the next level.
- [Ruth, Real Life, and the Year I Stopped Pretending I Had It All Together](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/04/25/ruth-real-life-and-the-year-i-stopped-pretending-i-had-it-all-together/) - Sometimes strength looks like having it all together. But what if real strength is learning how to tell the truth… even when it feels uncomfortable?
- [Pregnant by Faith: My High-Risk Pregnancy with Uterine Fibroids](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/03/15/pregnant-by-faith-my-high-risk-pregnancy-with-uterine-fibroids/) - During my pregnancy with uterine fibroids, I never felt my baby kick. This is the story of faith, ultrasounds, and the miracle of my daughter Ella Grace.
- [Building Income Without Losing Integrity: A Christian Woman’s Journey into AI, Credit Repair, and Multiple Streams of Income](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/03/06/building-income-without-losing-integrity-a-christian-womans-journey-into-ai-credit-repair-and-multiple-streams-of-income/) - A reflective journey on building multiple income streams, studying AI, and rebuilding credit—without compromising faith or integrity.
- [Faith, Funnels, and First Drafts: When Obedience Meets Strategy](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/02/26/faith-funnels-and-first-drafts-when-obedience-meets-strategy/) - Lela shares why she’s been quiet on Memoirs of a Black Girl and how faith, AI study, and strategy are shaping her next season.
- [Lack of Words Does Not Mean Lack of Intelligence: A Neurodivergent Motherhood War Story](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/02/02/lack-of-words-does-not-mean-lack-of-intelligence-a-neurodivergent-motherhood-war-story/) - A raw, reflective story of neurodivergent motherhood—where lack of verbal communication doesn’t mean lack of intelligence, and love requires endurance.
- [Same Woman, Different Crown (Part I): Why I Call My Wigs “Hats”](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/01/24/same-woman-different-crown-part-i-why-i-call-my-wigs-hats/) - A memoir-style reflection on identity, marriage, Black womanhood, and why changing hairstyles became part of a long-distance love story and a joyful, evolving marriage.
- [65 Degrees Today, 20 in Two Days: A Neurodivergent Mama’s Texas Prep](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/01/23/65-degrees-today-20-in-two-days-a-neurodivergent-mamas-texas-prep/) - As Texas temperatures drop from 65 degrees to 20 in just two days, a neurodivergent mama reflects on safe foods, preparation, and the quiet victories of motherhood.
- [How I Taught Myself to Cook: A Collard Greens Kitchen Memoir](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/01/13/how-i-taught-myself-to-cook-a-collard-greens-kitchen-memoir/) - Lela J. Fagan shares how reading cookbooks and learning online helped her create a soulful collard greens recipe and a Black kitchen legacy.
- [She Spelled It for Me: A Black Mama’s Moment of Neurodivergent Brilliance](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/01/11/she-spelled-it-for-me-a-black-mamas-moment-of-neurodivergent-brilliance/) - A tender moment between a mother and her autistic daughter becomes a powerful story of advocacy, literacy, and neurodivergent brilliance in this Memoirs of a Black Girl entry.
- [When “No” Becomes Necessary: Embracing Change, Growth, and New Seasons as a Family](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/01/08/when-no-becomes-necessary-embracing-change-growth-and-new-seasons-as-a-family/) - Sometimes the word “no” is the catalyst for growth. A reflection on family transitions, leadership, parenting, and embracing change with faith.
- [Hello World, Again!? Over 20 years of content deleted.](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/19/hello-world/) - Hey everyone! So, I have a little confession to make... I deleted a huge chunk of my blog posts while updating my MySQL database, like ALL of it. Yep, 20+ years of content. It was gone in a flash! But you know what? I'm not letting it get me down. I see this as an
- [From Nonverbal to Boss Baby: Celebrating Ella Grace’s Voice](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2026/01/07/from-nonverbal-to-boss-baby-celebrating-ella-graces-voice/) - A mother reflects on her daughter Ella Grace’s powerful speech development—from once minimally verbal to confidently expressing her needs with faith, joy, and personality.
- [When Confidence Finds Its Voice: How God Met Me at Praise Team Rehearsal](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/11/23/when-confidence-finds-its-voice-how-god-met-me-at-praise-team-rehearsal/) - A small moment in Praise Team rehearsal turned into a powerful reminder from the Holy Spirit about confidence, calling, and walking boldly in who God says I am.
- [Black Southern New Year’s Food Traditions: Meaning, Faith, and Eating With Intention](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/31/black-southern-new-years-food-traditions-meaning-faith-and-eating-with-intention/) - Explore Black Southern New Year’s food traditions—from black-eyed peas to collard greens, cornbread, jerk chicken, and 12 grapes—rooted in faith and intention.
- [Winter Break Milestones: Watching My Autistic Daughter Ella Grace Grow in Joy, Safety, and Speech](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/30/winter-break-milestones-watching-my-autistic-daughter-ella-grace-grow-in-joy-safety-and-speech/) - A faith-filled reflection on winter break milestones with my autistic daughter, Ella Grace—homegoing grace, playground joy, first “I love you,” and growing speech.
- [When I Stopped Trying to Fix My Daughter, She Found Her Voice](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/29/when-i-stopped-trying-to-fix-my-daughter-she-found-her-voice/) - A Black mother reflects on how mindset shifts, honoring neurodivergent communication, and faith helped her autistic daughter use more words—on her own timeline.
- [The Holy Work of Listening: Faith, Neurodivergence, and Learning Not to Judge](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/28/the-holy-work-of-listening-faith-neurodivergence-and-learning-not-to-judge/) - A reflective faith-based memoir on empathy, neurodivergence, and the importance of listening without judgment. A Gen X woman reflects on church, connection, and grace-filled growth as she approaches 50.
- [Fiesta International Market: A Taste of Home, Culture, and Memory](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/23/fiesta-international-market-a-taste-of-home-culture-and-memory/) - A personal reflection on Fiesta International Market, food, culture, and memory—from Brooklyn roots to Houston aisles and the flavors that feel like home.
- [Checking In Before Checking Out: A December Health Reset](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/23/checking-in-before-checking-out-a-december-health-reset/) - A reflective look at wellness checkups, health changes, hydration struggles, and intentional planning as I prepare for 2026 with clarity, faith, and alignment.
- [Sweet Sixteen: How My Church Anniversary Became a Spiritual Reset](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/12/08/sweet-sixteen-how-my-church-anniversary-became-a-spiritual-reset/) - If you’ve ever wondered whether God still writes in circles, this post is for you. Click to read how He brought me back to the exact place where growth began.
- [Standing in the Gap: When the Holy Spirit Whispers Loud](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/11/24/standing-in-the-gap-when-the-holy-spirit-whispers-loud/) - A heartfelt reflection on standing in the gap for family, listening to the Holy Spirit, and witnessing God confirm His word through unexpected moments of loss and love. A testimony of prayer, alignment, and spiritual sensitivity.
- [Becoming the Elder: A Reflection on Legacy, Loss, and Self-Care](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/09/30/becoming-the-elder-a-reflection-on-legacy-loss-and-self-care/) - This past week, I was reminded in a painful yet profound way: I am an elder now. I’ve carried this mantle since birth, but it feels different when loss reminds you of how precious and short time can be. My great-grand niece’s passing brought back memories of the elders I lost too soon, and it stirred in me a commitment to care for myself so I can be present for my children and their children. Legacy isn’t only about memory. It’s about presence.
- [Groceries, Grace, and God’s Timing: Eight Years of Becoming a Family](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/09/04/groceries-grace-and-gods-timing-eight-years-of-becoming-a-family/) - Eight years ago, my vision boards were full of prayers for family + faith. This month, we celebrate the anniversary of meeting the boys — and watch Ella Grace sing whole songs in the background. God’s timing? Right. On. Time.
- [Neurodivergence and the X-Factor](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/08/09/neurodivergence-and-the-x-factor/) - I’ve realized something: raising neurodivergent children is like raising the X-Men. Their strengths are powerful, their challenges are real, and the world often misunderstands them. But fear isn’t the answer—understanding is. 🦸🏾‍♀️ #Parenting #Neurodiversity
- [Living in the Overflow: Walking in God’s Abundance, Grace, and Glory](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/08/08/living-in-the-overflow-walking-in-gods-abundance-grace-and-glory/) - Feb 2014. World Changers Houston. Guest minister Matthew Ashimolowo shared a word I still carry: Live in the overflow. 🌊✨ Not barely enough. Not “just making it.” But so full of God’s goodness, grace & glory that it spills into every area—and onto others. 💜
- [Don’t Compromise the Standard: Why You Need Standards in Life and Leadership](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/08/06/dont-compromise-the-standard-why-you-need-standards-in-life-and-leadership/) - Originally inspired by leadership meeting notes, 2014 | Revised for today Whether in business, ministry, or personal life—standards matter. We often say what we believe, but it’s our actions that confirm whether those beliefs are truly rooted or just rehearsed. If your walk doesn’t line up with your talk, it’s not a standard—it’s just a
- [Decoding a Former Workaholic: Then and Now](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/08/04/decoding-a-former-workaholic-then-and-now/) - I used to wear busy like a badge of honor. But what I’ve learned? God never asked me to hustle for His favor. He just asked for my attention.
- [Inclusion in Action: An Autism Mama’s Unexpected Blessing](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/07/31/inclusion-in-action-an-autism-mamas-unexpected-blessing/) - A Grace-Filled First How one summer camp field trip reminded me that with the right village—and a whole lot of God—anything is possible. Yesterday, something beautiful happened. Ella Grace—my sunshine girl, my youngest, my minimally verbal, autistic wonder—went on her very first summer camp field trip. That might sound ordinary to some, but for me,
- [Eyes on the Storm: What the Eagle Knows About Leading Well](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/07/18/eyes-on-the-storm-what-the-eagle-knows-about-leading-well/) - The eagle doesn’t run from storms—it rises through them. 🦅 In leadership, storms aren’t setbacks—they’re setups. Discover 4 powerful lessons from the eagle to lead with courage, vision, and heart.
- [From Brooklyn to the Motherland: My First Trip to Africa at Sixteen](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/29/from-brooklyn-to-the-motherland-my-first-trip-to-africa-at-sixteen-2/) - We danced in a Fulani village. Rode dune buggies to the Atlantic. Prayed at the ocean’s edge. I missed my mama. We got soaked in rain, witnessed beauty, and learned painful truths. And then we crossed into Ghana…
- [How Not to Burn Out While Serving: A Prayer for Balance, Compassion, and Overflow](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/07/05/how-not-to-burn-out-while-serving-a-prayer-for-balance-compassion-and-overflow/) - Sometimes serving others leaves us feeling burnt out and bitter instead of joyful and fulfilled. It doesn’t have to be that way. 💛
- [Ashanti Crowns and Soulful Goodbyes: The End of My African Homecoming](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/07/03/ashanti-crowns-and-soulful-goodbyes-the-end-of-my-african-homecoming/) - From mosquito-bitten nights in a $2.50 hotel to dancing for the last time on African soil, my final days in Ghana were unforgettable. I became Adawa, saw the Ashanti King, and nearly caused a market riot over a lost camera. Oh—and I watched my dad get chased for wearing a sombrero and biker shorts in Senegal.
- [From Brooklyn to the Motherland: My First Trip to Africa at Sixteen](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/29/from-brooklyn-to-the-motherland-my-first-trip-to-africa-at-sixteen/) - In the summer of 1994, I boarded a plane for the very first time—with a passport, a notebook, and a dream. At sixteen, I left Brooklyn and journeyed with my dad, aunt, and cousin to Senegal and Ghana for what became a soul-shifting trip to the Motherland.
- [When Fear Knocks, Let Faith Answer](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/28/when-fear-knocks-let-faith-answer/) - 🕊️ When fear comes knocking, don’t leave it on read—let faith answer the door with the Word as backup. This summer, I’m decluttering more than closets. I’m clearing out the lies fear told me and making room for bold, faith-filled action.
- [ My Funko Pop Rotation: How a Black Girl’s Office Shelf Tells a Story](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/28/my-funko-pop-rotation-how-a-black-girls-office-shelf-tells-a-story/) - Discover how I rotate my Funko Pop collection—from Wakanda to classic TV—and why it’s more than a shelf; it’s a story of joy, culture, and legacy.
- [Practical Holiness: Living From the Inside Out](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/28/practical-holiness-living-from-the-inside-out/) - While flipping through one of my old Bible study notebooks from over thirteen years ago, I stumbled on a set of sermon notes titled “Practical Holiness.” I honestly can’t remember if that was the actual message title or just something I wrote in the margin—but baby, the truths on those pages lit me up like
- [Auntie Wisdom: Why Your Parents Really Do Understand You](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/21/auntie-wisdom-why-your-parents-really-do-understand-you/) - Being the “cool Auntie” means knowing when to listen and when to drop a gem. I wrote this a decade ago—before motherhood—and now it hits even deeper.
- [Dear Hearts: A Healing Letter to All My Nieces and Nephews](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/17/dear-hearts-a-healing-letter-to-all-my-nieces-and-nephews/) - Grief doesn’t knock before it shows up. But neither does healing. Read this open letter from Auntie Lela to all her nieces and nephews about life, loss, and choosing to live again.
- [A Renaissance Man in Reeboks: Remembering My Father’s Quiet Genius](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/15/a-renaissance-man-in-reeboks-remembering-my-fathers-quiet-genius/) - Some men leave behind estates.Others leave behind empires.My father? He left behind legacy. He was truly ahead of his time—a Renaissance man with a toolbelt, a camera strap, and paint-stained fingers. My dad could glide between painting strokes and shutter clicks, pencil sketches and home repairs, as effortlessly as most flip TV channels. He wasn’t
- [Happy Father’s Day to Our Forever Head Coach — Oji Fagan](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/15/happy-fathers-day-to-our-forever-head-coach-oji-fagan/) - From the sidelines of the field to the heart of our home, you lead with love, wisdom, and unwavering strength. To the world, you’re Coach Fagan—guiding teams, building champions. But to us, you’re the one who makes every day feel like a win. Trevor looks up to your strength. Tyson learns from your quiet wisdom.
- [The Daily Grace of Parenting Neurodivergent Children: A Mama’s Story](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/06/04/the-daily-grace-of-parenting-neurodivergent-children-a-mamas-story/) - Parenting neurodivergent children requires deep listening, daily grace, and limitless love. In my latest blog post, I reflect on raising my three beautifully unique kids—and how God meets me in the moments in between.
- [From Throwback Thursday to Flashback Friday to Saturday and Beyond: Let the Purging Begin!](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/05/31/from-throwback-thursday-to-flashback-friday-to-saturday-and-beyond-let-the-purging-begin/) - Every summer, my spirit starts whispering “declutter, sis.” And this year? I’m listening. I’m deep diving into papers, closets, garages, and forgotten storage units—not just to clean, but to make room for what’s next.
- [The Weight of a Name: A Lesson for My Son](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/05/28/the-weight-of-a-name-a-lesson-for-my-son/) - 🧠💛 Today, I reminded my son Tyson that he carries three names—child of God, his own, and his family’s. When our babies understand who they are, they grow into who they’re meant to be.
- ["No" Is a Complete Sentence: Faith, Boundaries & Freedom](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/05/23/no-is-a-complete-sentence-faith-boundaries-freedom/) - There’s something sacred about a woman who can say “No.” without flinching, without apologizing. Jesus didn’t say “Yes” to every request—and neither should you. Boundaries are biblical. Rest is righteous. Peace is holy. Let’s honor the God in us by protecting our capacity. 🙏🏾
- [The Blessing of Elder Women: How Their Wisdom Shaped My Life](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/05/15/the-blessing-of-elder-women-how-their-wisdom-shaped-my-life/) - ✨ Elder women have been my Naomis—guiding, nurturing, and loving me since my mother's passing. Discover how their wisdom transformed my life. Read more at memoirsofablackgirl.com. 🌿 #FaithJourney #MemoirsOfABlackGirl @LelaJFagan
- [Walking in Your Calling: Why Faith Will Always Cost You Something](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/05/12/walking-in-your-calling-why-faith-will-always-cost-you-something/) - There’s something deeply sobering about the way people react when you step into your purpose—especially when those people are the ones who know you best. Mark 6:1-29 NLT is a chapter that doesn’t just speak—it shouts. It tells two stories that seem separate but are inextricably linked by a common theme: the cost of calling.
- [What a Baby Sparrow Taught Me About Faith in Action](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/27/what-a-baby-sparrow-taught-me-about-faith-in-action/) - Originally penned 11 years ago, this reflection remains close to my heart. Sometimes the smallest moments—like a fallen sparrow—carry the biggest lessons. I’ve revisited and refreshed this piece for Memoirs of a Black Girl, but its core message of faith in action stands timeless.
- [He Could Never Be Satisfied: What King Solomon and Hamilton Teach Us About Legacy, Ego, and Obedience](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/30/he-could-never-be-satisfied-what-king-solomon-and-hamilton-teach-us-about-legacy-ego-and-obedience/) - “Legacy isn’t built on brilliance alone—it’s shaped by obedience.” What does the wisest king in the Bible have in common with Broadway’s most lyrical legend? A cautionary tale of ambition, approval, and the downfall of men who flew too close to the sun.
- [I Must Respectfully Disagree: A Testimony of Faith, Family, and Growth](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/25/i-must-respectfully-disagree-a-testimony-of-faith-family-and-growth/) - 10 years ago, I survived a crash that should’ve taken me. But God. 🙌🏾 This Flashback Friday, I’m sharing my testimony and why I had to “respectfully disagree” with family on the road to healing. 👉🏾
- [Boxes, Books, and Breakthroughs: How One Apartment Shaped My Journey](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/26/boxes-books-and-breakthroughs-how-one-apartment-shaped-my-journey/) - Editor’s Note: Originally written over a decade ago, this reflection captures a pivotal moment in my journey—closing one chapter and stepping boldly into the next. As you read, I invite you to walk with me through the halls of memory, faith, and healing. — Lela J. Fagan
- [Lessons from the Hubby Coach: Faith, Fear, and Country Roads](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/21/lessons-from-the-hubby-coach-faith-fear-and-country-roads/) - Some lessons don’t come in sermons or self-help books. Sometimes, they show up on backroads at dusk, with your husband coaching from the passenger seat and your heart racing with more than just traffic fear.
- [A Band-Aid is Not a Cure: Teaching Kids Real Accountability](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/14/a-band-aid-is-not-a-cure-teaching-kids-real-accountability/) - This morning, I had to teach my son that “sorry” is just a Band-Aid. It covers a wound, but it doesn’t heal it—especially if you keep ripping it open. 🩹 Read how one before-school moment became a full-on life lesson.
- [An Open Letter to My Nieces: I Wish You Had Known Her, My Mama](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/11/an-open-letter-to-my-nieces-i-wish-you-had-known-her-my-mama/) - I wish you had known her... Twelve years ago, I wrote a letter to my nieces introducing them to their grandmother — my Mama. Today, I share it again, because her legacy still lives through us.
- [You Can Be Replaced: A Story of Bitterness, Burnout, and God's Grace](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/10/you-can-be-replaced-a-story-of-bitterness-burnout-and-gods-grace/) - I trained my replacement without knowing it. I thought the favor would keep me in position. But the grace had lifted. The anointing was gone. Here’s what Saul taught me about obedience, pride, and letting go.
- [The Day I Became Hannah: Choosing Family After Fibroids](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/23/who-am-i-she-asked-i-answered-my-name-was-hannah-pt-3/) - “They said I might be barren. I said I’d be a mother. God never told me how—just that I would be.” 💜 #FaithOverFear #HealingJourney
- [Still Hannah: My Fight for Hope After Uterine Surgery](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/23/who-am-i-she-asked-i-answered-my-name-was-hannah-pt-2/) - June 2015 Still Hannah: My Fight for Hope After Uterine Surgery Part Two of “The Day I Became Hannah” series Who am I? she asked.I answered, My name was Hannah. I hear the driver’s side door slam. Every sound seems amplified, every color more vivid. It’s like I woke up inside a movie this morning.
- [The Day I Became Hannah: Navigating Uterine Fibroids and Faith-Based Healing](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/22/who-am-i-she-asked-i-answered-my-name-was-hannah/) - What happens when the fight for motherhood meets faith? “She asked who I was. I said, ‘My name is Hannah.’” I’m sharing Part One of my myomectomy memoir—a story of healing, hope, and identity.
- [I Am the Mama: When God Births a Calling, Not Just a Baby](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/08/i-am-the-mama-when-god-births-a-calling-not-just-a-baby/) - 7 years ago, we said yes to a different kind of parenting path. We leaned on God, leaned into each other, and trusted that the story would be beautiful—and it is.
- [You Asked God to Use You… So Why Are You Running?](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/07/you-asked-god-to-use-you-so-why-are-you-running/) - You asked God to use you… so why are you running when He does? Sometimes the call won’t come where you’re comfortable—but it’ll always come where you’re called. Read how I had to surrender my will all over again in a brand new season.
- [Brooklyn Girlhood, Bold Moves, and a Bus Ride That Changed Everything](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/06/brooklyn-girlhood-bold-moves-and-a-bus-ride-that-changed-everything/) - Before Google Maps, before cell phones—just a girl with a big heart, a MetroCard, and fearless determination. This story takes me back to the roots of my courage.
- [Don’t Discount Your Past](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/06/dont-discount-your-past/) - When I look back over my life—what I’ve been through, where I’ve been, and the things I’ve done—I can’t help but say: Thank You, God. So many of us rarely pause to be truly grateful. Yes, it’s okay to desire more, to grow, to stretch into greater. But we must never discount the journey it
- [Distractions Are Destiny Robbers](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/05/distractions-are-destiny-robbers/) - The other morning, I sat down to tackle my to-do list and quickly realized I had a focus problem. I was trying to pay a bill, respond to an email, run through my daily tasks—and in the background, I had both music and the TV on. It was chaos disguised as productivity. You might be
- [Delete… and Done!](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/05/delete-and-done/) - I have a confession to make… This morning, I made the conscious decision to end a relationship I’ve had for over 20 years. It was intimate, constant, and for a long time, part of my identity. Honestly, letting it go almost brought me to tears. Through it, I met incredible people and had doors opened
- [One of the Three Men I Was Honored to Call My Godfather](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/04/02/one-of-the-three-men-i-was-honored-to-call-my-godfather/) - Not every child is blessed with godparents—people chosen to guide their spiritual journey and, if needed, step in when their parents cannot. I was fortunate to have four godparents, three of whom were my Godfathers. Each of them has since gone home to be with the Lord. I lost the last of them the year
- [5 Funny Things That Happened During & After Our Wedding Ceremony](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/30/5-funny-things-that-happened-during-after-our-wedding-ceremony/) - The Hubby Coach and I will celebrate our 13th Wedding Anniversary in a couple of months! I am super excited because I am more in love with him now than ever. We were married on June 9th, 2012, in Great Lakes Garden in Niagara Falls State Park (Niagara Falls, NY). I thought I would share
- [Making That Necessary 180-Degree Turn](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/30/making-that-necessary-180-degree-turn/) - Lord, today I come before You with a humble heart, acknowledging the profound transformation You have brought into my life. I have made a complete 180-degree turn, and now I rest peacefully in Your divine presence. My spirit has been reborn and sealed, fully surrendered and bound to You. I willingly submit my mind, soul,
- [A Sunday Morning Drive: Small Moments, Big Blessings](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/25/a-sunday-morning-drive-small-moments-big-blessings/) - Sunday, September 8, 2013 This morning, my husband and I got up early and decided to worship at the local mega-church just down the block from our home. The Coach had football planning meetings later that morning, so he couldn’t drive with me to World Changers-Houston. The drive took less than five minutes, but it
- [Finding Independence Behind the Wheel](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/25/finding-independence-behind-the-wheel/) - Saturday, August 31, 2013 The high of passing my road test still lingers, but this morning feels different. The Coach is already up and heading out—without me. Our usual Saturday routine of hitting the gym together and grocery shopping is disrupted by his football meetings. I feel a pang of abandonment as I slowly prepare
- [ Connecting the Dots… I Already Know You Know How to Drive.](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/24/connecting-the-dots-i-already-know-you-know-how-to-drive/) - Friday, August 30, 2013Today, I’m going for my second attempt at passing the Texas road test. This time, I’m confident. I’ve never felt so at peace about a driving test. The Coach, my husband, is a little concerned—he’s unsure if he’ll be able to leave work early enough to get me there on time. But
- [The Journey to "Favor": Trusting God in the Process](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/23/the-journey-to-favor-trusting-god-in-the-process/) - Thursday, August 22, 2013 I woke up with a sense of purpose today. Feeling led by faith, I changed my Facebook cover photo to a 2007 Honda CRV—the car I had set my heart on. Every time I logged into my profile, I wanted to see it, to claim it as mine. Since visiting the
- [Stepping Out in Faith: The Journey to My Road Test Victory](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/23/stepping-out-in-faith-the-journey-to-my-road-test-victory/) - Sunday, August 25, 2013 Today, my husband had me driving everywhere in my new car, Favor. It still feels surreal that I have my very own vehicle! We spent the day running errands, including a stop at his school to prepare his classroom for the first day of school. One of our most exciting stops
- [By Myself... I Could Not Even Get Outside Of The Parking Lot!](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/23/by-myself-i-could-not-even-get-outside-of-the-parking-lot/) - Introduction: Life has a way of throwing unexpected moments at us, and sometimes, those moments teach us lessons we never saw coming. This is the first post in a series where I reflect on a pivotal time in my life—one that involved surprises, trust, and stepping into independence. A Call Out of Nowhere Friday, August
- [A Premonition of A Betrayal](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2024/01/16/the-first-man-to-break-my-heart-name-was-daddy-pt-2/) - Children and animals are excellent indicators of character. The first time I had a premonition dream, I was no older than four or five. In the dream, my mother and I were rushing to catch a Coney Island-bound train from the Church Avenue station in Brooklyn, NY. We entered through the Caton Avenue and St.
- [Living Through Service, Finding Life in Worship](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2025/03/17/living-through-service-finding-life-in-worship/) - Music has a unique ability to rise above the confines of language, allowing us to experience emotions that words often fail to capture. While language has its place, music speaks to us in a way that transcends barriers. As I drove to church today to join my fellow choir members in ministry, I took a
- [A Father’s Love, A Daughter’s Loss](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2024/01/16/the-first-man-to-ever-break-my-heart-name-was-daddy-pt-1/) - Before I go any further, let me make one thing absolutely clear: I had an incredible relationship with my father. He was present in my life in every way—emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially—long before I was born and well past my 21st year. But, like all humans, he was flawed. I lost my dad suddenly,
- [Learning How to Communicate Effectively as a Newlywed](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2024/01/06/learning-how-to-communicate-effectively-as-a-newlywed/) - At first, I felt that the Hubby Coach was penalizing me for not passing the test. I didn’t know where those thoughts and feelings came from...
- [Set The Thermostat At Home To Sanctuary](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/24/set-the-thermostat-at-home-to-sanctuary/) - I recently had a heartfelt conversation with my dear friend, Nicole, who is my sister and my former roommate. We reminisced about our old apartment, which had transformed into a haven of solace and rejuvenation. It had become so inviting that visitors often found it difficult to leave and frequently requested to spend the night.
- [Who is Buzzing Around Your Dreams?](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2024/01/04/who-is-buzzing-around-your-dreams/) - Beware of the companions you surround yourself with as you bring your dreams to life. Ensure that you soar alongside the majestic eagles, rather than circling with the vultures. Who are these vultures? They are the dream destroyers, the doubters, the secret haters, and the Inter-Me… Who are these vultures? They are the ones who
- [The Grace Message Found in the Parable of Jonah](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/03/the-grace-message-found-in-the-parable-of-jonah/) - I feel blessed and humbled today as I had the opportunity to step into the shoes of a Children's Ministry teacher yet again. Ella usually accompanies me in the infant and toddler room, but today was a bit different. Tyson, however, needed some one-on-one attention, so he joined us from the big kids' group. The
- [Taking Time Out To Count My Blessings](https://www.memoirsofablackgirl.com/2023/12/22/taking-time-out-to-count-my-blessings/) - As a mom of special needs kids, my journey of finding balance in life has been a constant learning process. It's not always easy, but with hard work and determination, I strive to give my children the attention they need to thrive while making time for myself and being a loving wife. On weekends, it

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