This morning, during our typical before-school shuffle, I found myself playing referee between my two youngest. My middle son wasn’t being particularly kind to his little sister. She, full of energy and affection, kept trying to engage him—but instead of meeting her with love, he met her with sharpness.
From the front seat, I asked,
“Was that kind?”
“Would you want to be treated that way?”
“No,” he mumbled.
Then I asked,
“Do you want her to keep leaning into you like she does with your big brother?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
So I broke it down gently, but directly: “Then you’ve got to treat her with love and respect. Kindness invites connection.”
He got defensive. “But Mom, I said sorry!”
And that’s when the real lesson kicked in.
I told him, “Saying sorry is just a Band-Aid. It covers the wound for a while, but it doesn’t mean the injury didn’t happen. And it definitely doesn’t mean it won’t hurt again if you keep doing the same thing.”
A bandage has a purpose—it protects while healing begins. But it’s temporary. If you peel it off too soon or re-injure the same spot, the wound stays open longer. Sometimes it even scars.
People are no different. If we love them, we care about how we make them feel. And when we hurt them, our apologies should be more than reflex—they should come with change.
Because real healing? That starts when we stop causing the wound in the first place.
🙏🏾 Scripture Takeaways:
- Ephesians 4:32 (NLT):
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
→ Kindness isn’t optional. It’s Kingdom culture. - Proverbs 18:21 (NLT):
“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”
→ Our words can wound or heal. Choose life-giving language.
James 1:19 (NLT):
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”
→ A pause before a reaction could be the difference between peace and pain.
© 2025, Lela Fagan. All rights reserved.
