Featured Image Narrative: The Unity Sand Ceremony visually embodies the central theme of the chapter. While wedding guests witnessed two containers of sand becoming one, the memoir reflects on how two individual lives, families, and callings were intentionally joined through covenant. The photograph serves as both a historical record and a metaphor for the blueprint that would shape the Fagan family for years to come.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Family

The First Blueprint: Preparing for Marriage Before Planning a Wedding | Found in the Margins Part 11

The First Blueprint People often remember the flowers, the dress, or the reception. When I think about our wedding, I remember the conversations. The weekly phone calls with my brother-in-law and sister during premarital counseling. The intentional decision to choose vows that reflected our understanding of covenant. The Unity Sand Ceremony that symbolized two separate lives becoming one family. Looking back fourteen years later, I realize we spent far more time preparing for our marriage than we did planning our wedding. That wasn't accidental. It became the first blueprint for everything that followed.
Who has been part of your story? I’d love to hear about someone who shaped your life—whether they were a main character, a recurring character, or someone who made a brief appearance but left a lasting impact. Share your story in the comments.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Family

The Village Was Already Waiting | From the Margins Part 10

There was a season when I thought my life had fractured into separate stories. Brooklyn. Church. Motherhood. Athletics. Writing. Children's Ministry. Each felt disconnected from the next, as though I were constantly beginning again. But as I looked back, something beautiful came into focus. God wasn't asking me to start over. He had been weaving every experience, every conversation, every relationship, and every unexpected detour into one continuous story. I simply hadn't seen the tapestry yet. That's what Part 10, The Village Was Already Waiting, is about. It's a reminder that none of us writes a life story alone. Every chapter bears the fingerprints of people who loved us, challenged us, mentored us, encouraged us, and walked beside us—sometimes for a lifetime, sometimes for only a season. Perhaps the greatest gift isn't discovering that we were strong enough to make it on our own. Perhaps it's recognizing that God was building our village all along.
Featured graphic for Found in the Margins Part Five titled “The Date That Never Happened.” The design features a real wedding photo of Lela and Oji Fagan surrounded by their bridal party, alongside handwritten-style notes, wedding planning imagery, and the quote, “I thought I was asking Oji to be my wedding date. God was introducing me to my future husband.” Footer includes memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Marriage

The Date That Never Happened: How a Wedding Invitation Led Me to My Future Husband | Found in the Margins Part 5

Sometimes the stories that change our lives begin as simple conversations. When my lifelong friend Chi Chi encouraged me to ask Oji to be my date to her wedding, neither of us knew what God was already setting in motion. By the time her wedding arrived, Oji and I were already a couple. Years later, Chi Chi would stand beside me as my Matron of Honor, while other friends who carried me through difficult seasons helped me prepare for my own wedding day. Part Five of Found in the Margins explores friendship, faith, community, and the unexpected ways God writes our stories long before we recognize what He’s doing.
Wedding portrait of Lela and Oji Fagan standing together overlooking Niagara Falls, featured on a blog graphic titled "The List Knew Before I Did," part of the Found in the Margins series about healing, faith, friendship, and God's timing.
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Marriage

The List Knew Before I Did: How a Forgotten List Led Me Back to Love | Found in the Margins Part 4

When I was nineteen years old, I wrote a list. Not a prayer list. Not a vision board. Just a handwritten list of qualities I hoped to find in a future husband someday. Then I forgot about it. Life happened. Grief happened. Healing happened. Years passed. What I didn't know was that God was doing a deeper work in me long before I would reconnect with the man who would eventually become my husband. Part 4 of Found in the Margins explores the surprising connection between a forgotten list, a season of personal growth, an old friendship rekindled, and the realization that sometimes God's preparation isn't about finding the right person—it's about becoming the right person.