Teenage Lela embracing her father beside books, music, and a Greyhound ticket representing the soundtrack that shaped her life.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Family

The Soundtrack Between the Miles | How Music, Faith & Travel Shaped My Story

Some people remember their lives through photographs. Others remember them through places. I’ve discovered that I remember mine through music. One familiar song recently carried me back to bus rides through Brooklyn, stacks of books, worship playlists, and a father who unknowingly taught me that curiosity could become a lifelong inheritance. That realization became Part 12 of Found in the Margins.
Featured Image Narrative: The Unity Sand Ceremony visually embodies the central theme of the chapter. While wedding guests witnessed two containers of sand becoming one, the memoir reflects on how two individual lives, families, and callings were intentionally joined through covenant. The photograph serves as both a historical record and a metaphor for the blueprint that would shape the Fagan family for years to come.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Family

The First Blueprint: Preparing for Marriage Before Planning a Wedding | Found in the Margins Part 11

The First Blueprint People often remember the flowers, the dress, or the reception. When I think about our wedding, I remember the conversations. The weekly phone calls with my brother-in-law and sister during premarital counseling. The intentional decision to choose vows that reflected our understanding of covenant. The Unity Sand Ceremony that symbolized two separate lives becoming one family. Looking back fourteen years later, I realize we spent far more time preparing for our marriage than we did planning our wedding. That wasn't accidental. It became the first blueprint for everything that followed.
Who has been part of your story? I’d love to hear about someone who shaped your life—whether they were a main character, a recurring character, or someone who made a brief appearance but left a lasting impact. Share your story in the comments.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Family

The Village Was Already Waiting | From the Margins Part 10

There was a season when I thought my life had fractured into separate stories. Brooklyn. Church. Motherhood. Athletics. Writing. Children's Ministry. Each felt disconnected from the next, as though I were constantly beginning again. But as I looked back, something beautiful came into focus. God wasn't asking me to start over. He had been weaving every experience, every conversation, every relationship, and every unexpected detour into one continuous story. I simply hadn't seen the tapestry yet. That's what Part 10, The Village Was Already Waiting, is about. It's a reminder that none of us writes a life story alone. Every chapter bears the fingerprints of people who loved us, challenged us, mentored us, encouraged us, and walked beside us—sometimes for a lifetime, sometimes for only a season. Perhaps the greatest gift isn't discovering that we were strong enough to make it on our own. Perhaps it's recognizing that God was building our village all along.
Editorial-style featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Nine featuring elegant imagery representing Christian courtship, quiet romance, and respectful love. Typography reads "He Treated Me Like a Lady," with branding for memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelafagan.substack.com.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Latest News

He Treated Me Like a Lady | Found in the Margins Part 9

When people ask about our courtship, they often expect stories about grand romantic gestures. Instead, I remember conversations that lasted for hours, walks through Manhattan and Prospect Park, weekends in the Finger Lakes, and a man who quietly chose the couch so I could have the bed. Looking back, I realized something profound: Before Oji ever became my husband, he treated me like a lady.
Editorial-style featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Eight featuring a warm portrait of Lela Jefferson Fagan with elegant typography reading "You Are. Do You Have a Problem With That?" The design reflects the quiet beauty of Christian courtship, friendship, and clarity, with branding for memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelafagan.substack.com.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Latest News

You Are. Do You Have a Problem With That? | Found in the Margins Part 8

Some conversations don't begin a relationship—they simply give a name to what has already been quietly growing. On the day after Christmas in 2009, one simple text message changed the way I understood my relationship with the man who would become my husband. Looking back, I wasn't asking permission to fall in love. I was asking for clarity.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Seven showing Lela Jefferson Fagan's portrait from her 2009 Poetry of a Black Girl photo session alongside family photographs, symbolizing the season when friendship, faith, career, creativity, and courtship quietly converged.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Latest News

Before I Knew I Was Being Courted | Found in the Margins Part 7

Sometimes love doesn't begin with grand romantic gestures—it begins with consistency. Before I ever realized Oji was intentionally courting me, God was quietly restoring my career, helping me publish my first book, strengthening my faith, and introducing me to the family that would one day become my own. Looking back, I can finally see what I couldn't see then: love often grows in the ordinary moments we almost overlook.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Six showing the wedding hands of Lela and Oji Fagan resting on a bouquet of yellow gerbera daisies, pink carnations, white baby’s breath, and red roses. The editorial design includes the title “I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me” with the subtitle “How Friendship, Faith, and Consistency Became the Foundation for Something More,” along with memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.
Posted inChristian Living Faith Latest News

I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me | Found in the Margins: Part Six

What if the strongest relationships don’t begin with romance—but with friendship, faith, and consistency? When Oji and I reconnected after more than a decade, neither of us was looking for a relationship. We were simply two adults growing in our faith, healing from past seasons, and learning who we had become. Looking back, I now realize he wasn’t just staying in touch. He was courting me. Part Six of Found in the Margins reflects on lunch-break conversations, leadership lessons, shared faith, and how God quietly built the foundation for a covenant long before either of us recognized it.
Featured graphic for Found in the Margins Part Five titled “The Date That Never Happened.” The design features a real wedding photo of Lela and Oji Fagan surrounded by their bridal party, alongside handwritten-style notes, wedding planning imagery, and the quote, “I thought I was asking Oji to be my wedding date. God was introducing me to my future husband.” Footer includes memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Marriage

The Date That Never Happened: How a Wedding Invitation Led Me to My Future Husband | Found in the Margins Part 5

Sometimes the stories that change our lives begin as simple conversations. When my lifelong friend Chi Chi encouraged me to ask Oji to be my date to her wedding, neither of us knew what God was already setting in motion. By the time her wedding arrived, Oji and I were already a couple. Years later, Chi Chi would stand beside me as my Matron of Honor, while other friends who carried me through difficult seasons helped me prepare for my own wedding day. Part Five of Found in the Margins explores friendship, faith, community, and the unexpected ways God writes our stories long before we recognize what He’s doing.
Wedding portrait of Lela and Oji Fagan standing together overlooking Niagara Falls, featured on a blog graphic titled "The List Knew Before I Did," part of the Found in the Margins series about healing, faith, friendship, and God's timing.
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Marriage

The List Knew Before I Did: How a Forgotten List Led Me Back to Love | Found in the Margins Part 4

When I was nineteen years old, I wrote a list. Not a prayer list. Not a vision board. Just a handwritten list of qualities I hoped to find in a future husband someday. Then I forgot about it. Life happened. Grief happened. Healing happened. Years passed. What I didn't know was that God was doing a deeper work in me long before I would reconnect with the man who would eventually become my husband. Part 4 of Found in the Margins explores the surprising connection between a forgotten list, a season of personal growth, an old friendship rekindled, and the realization that sometimes God's preparation isn't about finding the right person—it's about becoming the right person.
Some goals aren't destinations. They're directions.
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Prayers

Seven Things I Wanted to Fix About Myself | Found in the Margins Part 3

In 2009, I wrote a list of seven areas where I wanted to grow. Communication. Trust. Understanding. Financial wisdom. Relationships. Weight loss. Peace within my family. At the time, I thought it was a goals list. Looking back, it was really a roadmap. Years later, I realized something surprising: most of those goals never had an expiration date. Some were accomplished. Others evolved. A few are still works in progress. This installment of Found in the Margins explores what happened when I rediscovered a forgotten list and realized that growth isn't something you finish—it's something you live.
The Year I Thought I Had to Start Over
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Relationships

The Year I Thought I Was Starting Over | Found in the Margins Part 2

In 2009, I thought I was starting over. A ministry chapter had ended. My future felt uncertain. Yet hidden inside that difficult season were friendships, healing, a first book, renewed confidence, and the early chapters of a love story I couldn't yet see. Seventeen years later, I understand something I didn't know then: I wasn't starting over. I was rebuilding.
Found in the Margins. The design resembles a scrapbook or memoir journal spread with warm burgundy, gold, cream, and parchment tones
Posted inBible Study Latest News Life Lessons

The Woman Who Wrote the Prayer Didn’t Know the Ending Yet

While cleaning out a box of old papers, I stumbled across a stack of Bible study notes from 2009. At first, I thought I had found old sermon notes. Instead, I found a conversation with my younger self. Hidden in the margins were prayers for a future spouse, future children, and a future family. There were goals, declarations, and reminders about faith, identity, and healing written during one of the most transitional seasons of my life. Seventeen years later, I can see something that thirty-year-old Lela could not: God was already rebuilding a life I couldn't yet imagine. Read more on Memoirs of a Black Girl.
A thoughtful Black woman sits at a desk looking at her phone, surrounded by warm tones and journaling elements. The graphic emphasizes intentional communication, emotional awareness, and the message “We Are Not AI.”
Posted inLatest News Life Lessons Relationships

We Are Not AI: The Cost of Transactional Communication in a Convenience Culture

In a world of instant messages and constant notifications, we’ve started communicating with people the way we interact with machines—quick, transactional, and without pause. But relationships were never meant to function on autopilot. This reflection explores the cost of convenience culture and the power of intentional communication.