There’s a little secret I want to share about how my daughter, Ella Grace, began speaking more this year.
It wasn’t one big breakthrough moment.
It wasn’t pressure or chasing milestones.
It wasn’t “doing more.”
It was a shift.
A shift in mindset.
A widening of freedom.
And yes—supporting her nutrition where I could.
The First Shift Was Me
Before anything else changed, I had to change.
I had to take a hard look at how I interacted with my daughter—how quickly I spoke, how often I filled silence, and how much urgency I brought into our exchanges. In my desire to help her, I realized I was sometimes rushing her spirit.
So I slowed down.
I stopped treating communication like a destination and started treating it like a relationship. I chose presence over pressure.
I made a conscious decision to see Ella Grace the way I first saw her when she entered this world:
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Complete.
Not lacking.
Not broken.
Not behind.
Giving Her Freedom to Be Who She Is
Ella Grace has always been a communicator—long before spoken words began to surface.
She has been navigating both Android and Apple devices since she was two. Now at six, she intentionally uses the YouTube Kids search function on her tablet—not just by voice, but by typing out the words herself.
She sounds out the letters as she types.
She completes the search.
And then—after—she says the word.
That process alone tells a story.
It’s not mimicry.
It’s sequencing.
It’s comprehension.
It’s confidence being built in real time.
She communicates in layers—typed words, spoken words, short phrases, gestures, hand-over-hand guidance, and expressive cues. Those layers are beginning to overlap in beautiful ways.
Now she uses yes and no—sometimes verbally, sometimes with a head shake—instead of only expressing refusal through crying.
And if she doesn’t like certain food, she will look at it, completely serious, and say:
“Trash.”
No laughter. No exaggeration. Just clarity.
And honestly? It’s hilarious. 😂
But clarity, I’ve learned, is still language.
Supporting Her Body Without Trying to Override It
Ella Grace still has a very limited diet. Sensory eating is real life over here.
About five months ago, after prayer, research, and listening to other parents’ experiences, I decided to supplement what she might not be getting consistently through food. I introduced EllaOla, a multivitamin recommended for children with autism.
I’m not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice—always consult your child’s pediatrician before adding supplements.
For us, I believe it helped.
What I noticed wasn’t instant speech—it was inclination. More willingness to parrot words. More attempts. More engagement.
The Faith Lesson I Didn’t Expect
Watching her type, sound out letters, and then speak the word reminded me that God is not rushed. He’s intentional. And sometimes the miracle is in the process, not the speed.
When I stopped parenting from fear and started parenting from faith, peace entered our home.
I began praying differently—not prayers soaked in anxiety, but prayers anchored in trust:
“Lord, help me parent the child You gave me—
not the child the world expects.”
Ella Grace was never behind.
She was always becoming.
And I am learning—daily—how to listen.
Did You Know?
Many autistic children communicate in multiple ways before spoken language fully emerges.
This can include typing, gestures, echolalia, hand-over-hand guidance, facial expressions, and later spoken words. Typed communication and letter-sound awareness are meaningful indicators of language development—not “less than” speech.
Scripture Reflection
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” — Psalm 139:14
© 2025, Lela Fagan. All rights reserved.
