Editorial-style featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Nine featuring elegant imagery representing Christian courtship, quiet romance, and respectful love. Typography reads "He Treated Me Like a Lady," with branding for memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelafagan.substack.com.

He Treated Me Like a Lady | Found in the Margins Part 9

When people ask about our courtship, they often expect stories about grand romantic gestures. Instead, I remember conversations that lasted for hours, walks through Manhattan and Prospect Park, weekends in the Finger Lakes, and a man who quietly chose the couch so I could have the bed. Looking back, I realized something profound: Before Oji ever became my husband, he treated me like a lady.
Editorial-style featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Eight featuring a warm portrait of Lela Jefferson Fagan with elegant typography reading "You Are. Do You Have a Problem With That?" The design reflects the quiet beauty of Christian courtship, friendship, and clarity, with branding for memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelafagan.substack.com.

You Are. Do You Have a Problem With That? | Found in the Margins Part 8

Some conversations don't begin a relationship—they simply give a name to what has already been quietly growing. On the day after Christmas in 2009, one simple text message changed the way I understood my relationship with the man who would become my husband. Looking back, I wasn't asking permission to fall in love. I was asking for clarity.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Seven showing Lela Jefferson Fagan's portrait from her 2009 Poetry of a Black Girl photo session alongside family photographs, symbolizing the season when friendship, faith, career, creativity, and courtship quietly converged.

Before I Knew I Was Being Courted | Found in the Margins Part 7

Sometimes love doesn't begin with grand romantic gestures—it begins with consistency. Before I ever realized Oji was intentionally courting me, God was quietly restoring my career, helping me publish my first book, strengthening my faith, and introducing me to the family that would one day become my own. Looking back, I can finally see what I couldn't see then: love often grows in the ordinary moments we almost overlook.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Six showing the wedding hands of Lela and Oji Fagan resting on a bouquet of yellow gerbera daisies, pink carnations, white baby’s breath, and red roses. The editorial design includes the title “I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me” with the subtitle “How Friendship, Faith, and Consistency Became the Foundation for Something More,” along with memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.

I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me | Found in the Margins: Part Six

What if the strongest relationships don’t begin with romance—but with friendship, faith, and consistency? When Oji and I reconnected after more than a decade, neither of us was looking for a relationship. We were simply two adults growing in our faith, healing from past seasons, and learning who we had become. Looking back, I now realize he wasn’t just staying in touch. He was courting me. Part Six of Found in the Margins reflects on lunch-break conversations, leadership lessons, shared faith, and how God quietly built the foundation for a covenant long before either of us recognized it.