Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Seven showing Lela Jefferson Fagan's portrait from her 2009 Poetry of a Black Girl photo session alongside family photographs, symbolizing the season when friendship, faith, career, creativity, and courtship quietly converged.
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Before I Knew I Was Being Courted | Found in the Margins Part 7

Sometimes love doesn't begin with grand romantic gestures—it begins with consistency. Before I ever realized Oji was intentionally courting me, God was quietly restoring my career, helping me publish my first book, strengthening my faith, and introducing me to the family that would one day become my own. Looking back, I can finally see what I couldn't see then: love often grows in the ordinary moments we almost overlook.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Six showing the wedding hands of Lela and Oji Fagan resting on a bouquet of yellow gerbera daisies, pink carnations, white baby’s breath, and red roses. The editorial design includes the title “I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me” with the subtitle “How Friendship, Faith, and Consistency Became the Foundation for Something More,” along with memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.
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I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me | Found in the Margins: Part Six

What if the strongest relationships don’t begin with romance—but with friendship, faith, and consistency? When Oji and I reconnected after more than a decade, neither of us was looking for a relationship. We were simply two adults growing in our faith, healing from past seasons, and learning who we had become. Looking back, I now realize he wasn’t just staying in touch. He was courting me. Part Six of Found in the Margins reflects on lunch-break conversations, leadership lessons, shared faith, and how God quietly built the foundation for a covenant long before either of us recognized it.
Featured graphic for Found in the Margins Part Five titled “The Date That Never Happened.” The design features a real wedding photo of Lela and Oji Fagan surrounded by their bridal party, alongside handwritten-style notes, wedding planning imagery, and the quote, “I thought I was asking Oji to be my wedding date. God was introducing me to my future husband.” Footer includes memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.
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The Date That Never Happened: How a Wedding Invitation Led Me to My Future Husband | Found in the Margins Part 5

Sometimes the stories that change our lives begin as simple conversations. When my lifelong friend Chi Chi encouraged me to ask Oji to be my date to her wedding, neither of us knew what God was already setting in motion. By the time her wedding arrived, Oji and I were already a couple. Years later, Chi Chi would stand beside me as my Matron of Honor, while other friends who carried me through difficult seasons helped me prepare for my own wedding day. Part Five of Found in the Margins explores friendship, faith, community, and the unexpected ways God writes our stories long before we recognize what He’s doing.
Wedding portrait of Lela and Oji Fagan standing together overlooking Niagara Falls, featured on a blog graphic titled "The List Knew Before I Did," part of the Found in the Margins series about healing, faith, friendship, and God's timing.
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The List Knew Before I Did: How a Forgotten List Led Me Back to Love | Found in the Margins Part 4

When I was nineteen years old, I wrote a list. Not a prayer list. Not a vision board. Just a handwritten list of qualities I hoped to find in a future husband someday. Then I forgot about it. Life happened. Grief happened. Healing happened. Years passed. What I didn't know was that God was doing a deeper work in me long before I would reconnect with the man who would eventually become my husband. Part 4 of Found in the Margins explores the surprising connection between a forgotten list, a season of personal growth, an old friendship rekindled, and the realization that sometimes God's preparation isn't about finding the right person—it's about becoming the right person.
Some goals aren't destinations. They're directions.
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Seven Things I Wanted to Fix About Myself | Found in the Margins Part 3

In 2009, I wrote a list of seven areas where I wanted to grow. Communication. Trust. Understanding. Financial wisdom. Relationships. Weight loss. Peace within my family. At the time, I thought it was a goals list. Looking back, it was really a roadmap. Years later, I realized something surprising: most of those goals never had an expiration date. Some were accomplished. Others evolved. A few are still works in progress. This installment of Found in the Margins explores what happened when I rediscovered a forgotten list and realized that growth isn't something you finish—it's something you live.
The Year I Thought I Had to Start Over
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The Year I Thought I Was Starting Over | Found in the Margins Part 2

In 2009, I thought I was starting over. A ministry chapter had ended. My future felt uncertain. Yet hidden inside that difficult season were friendships, healing, a first book, renewed confidence, and the early chapters of a love story I couldn't yet see. Seventeen years later, I understand something I didn't know then: I wasn't starting over. I was rebuilding.