Who has been part of your story? I’d love to hear about someone who shaped your life—whether they were a main character, a recurring character, or someone who made a brief appearance but left a lasting impact. Share your story in the comments.

The Village Was Already Waiting | From the Margins Part 10

There was a season when I thought my life had fractured into separate stories. Brooklyn. Church. Motherhood. Athletics. Writing. Children's Ministry. Each felt disconnected from the next, as though I were constantly beginning again. But as I looked back, something beautiful came into focus. God wasn't asking me to start over. He had been weaving every experience, every conversation, every relationship, and every unexpected detour into one continuous story. I simply hadn't seen the tapestry yet. That's what Part 10, The Village Was Already Waiting, is about. It's a reminder that none of us writes a life story alone. Every chapter bears the fingerprints of people who loved us, challenged us, mentored us, encouraged us, and walked beside us—sometimes for a lifetime, sometimes for only a season. Perhaps the greatest gift isn't discovering that we were strong enough to make it on our own. Perhaps it's recognizing that God was building our village all along.
Editorial-style featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Nine featuring elegant imagery representing Christian courtship, quiet romance, and respectful love. Typography reads "He Treated Me Like a Lady," with branding for memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelafagan.substack.com.

He Treated Me Like a Lady | Found in the Margins Part 9

When people ask about our courtship, they often expect stories about grand romantic gestures. Instead, I remember conversations that lasted for hours, walks through Manhattan and Prospect Park, weekends in the Finger Lakes, and a man who quietly chose the couch so I could have the bed. Looking back, I realized something profound: Before Oji ever became my husband, he treated me like a lady.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Seven showing Lela Jefferson Fagan's portrait from her 2009 Poetry of a Black Girl photo session alongside family photographs, symbolizing the season when friendship, faith, career, creativity, and courtship quietly converged.

Before I Knew I Was Being Courted | Found in the Margins Part 7

Sometimes love doesn't begin with grand romantic gestures—it begins with consistency. Before I ever realized Oji was intentionally courting me, God was quietly restoring my career, helping me publish my first book, strengthening my faith, and introducing me to the family that would one day become my own. Looking back, I can finally see what I couldn't see then: love often grows in the ordinary moments we almost overlook.
Wedding portrait of Lela and Oji Fagan standing together overlooking Niagara Falls, featured on a blog graphic titled "The List Knew Before I Did," part of the Found in the Margins series about healing, faith, friendship, and God's timing.

The List Knew Before I Did: How a Forgotten List Led Me Back to Love | Found in the Margins Part 4

When I was nineteen years old, I wrote a list. Not a prayer list. Not a vision board. Just a handwritten list of qualities I hoped to find in a future husband someday. Then I forgot about it. Life happened. Grief happened. Healing happened. Years passed. What I didn't know was that God was doing a deeper work in me long before I would reconnect with the man who would eventually become my husband. Part 4 of Found in the Margins explores the surprising connection between a forgotten list, a season of personal growth, an old friendship rekindled, and the realization that sometimes God's preparation isn't about finding the right person—it's about becoming the right person.