Featured Image Narrative: The Unity Sand Ceremony visually embodies the central theme of the chapter. While wedding guests witnessed two containers of sand becoming one, the memoir reflects on how two individual lives, families, and callings were intentionally joined through covenant. The photograph serves as both a historical record and a metaphor for the blueprint that would shape the Fagan family for years to come.
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The First Blueprint: Preparing for Marriage Before Planning a Wedding | Found in the Margins Part 11

The First Blueprint People often remember the flowers, the dress, or the reception. When I think about our wedding, I remember the conversations. The weekly phone calls with my brother-in-law and sister during premarital counseling. The intentional decision to choose vows that reflected our understanding of covenant. The Unity Sand Ceremony that symbolized two separate lives becoming one family. Looking back fourteen years later, I realize we spent far more time preparing for our marriage than we did planning our wedding. That wasn't accidental. It became the first blueprint for everything that followed.
Editorial-style featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Nine featuring elegant imagery representing Christian courtship, quiet romance, and respectful love. Typography reads "He Treated Me Like a Lady," with branding for memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelafagan.substack.com.
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He Treated Me Like a Lady | Found in the Margins Part 9

When people ask about our courtship, they often expect stories about grand romantic gestures. Instead, I remember conversations that lasted for hours, walks through Manhattan and Prospect Park, weekends in the Finger Lakes, and a man who quietly chose the couch so I could have the bed. Looking back, I realized something profound: Before Oji ever became my husband, he treated me like a lady.
Featured image for Found in the Margins: Part Six showing the wedding hands of Lela and Oji Fagan resting on a bouquet of yellow gerbera daisies, pink carnations, white baby’s breath, and red roses. The editorial design includes the title “I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me” with the subtitle “How Friendship, Faith, and Consistency Became the Foundation for Something More,” along with memoirsofablackgirl.com and lelajfagan.substack.com.
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I Didn’t Know He Was Courting Me | Found in the Margins: Part Six

What if the strongest relationships don’t begin with romance—but with friendship, faith, and consistency? When Oji and I reconnected after more than a decade, neither of us was looking for a relationship. We were simply two adults growing in our faith, healing from past seasons, and learning who we had become. Looking back, I now realize he wasn’t just staying in touch. He was courting me. Part Six of Found in the Margins reflects on lunch-break conversations, leadership lessons, shared faith, and how God quietly built the foundation for a covenant long before either of us recognized it.
Wedding portrait of Lela and Oji Fagan standing together overlooking Niagara Falls, featured on a blog graphic titled "The List Knew Before I Did," part of the Found in the Margins series about healing, faith, friendship, and God's timing.
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The List Knew Before I Did: How a Forgotten List Led Me Back to Love | Found in the Margins Part 4

When I was nineteen years old, I wrote a list. Not a prayer list. Not a vision board. Just a handwritten list of qualities I hoped to find in a future husband someday. Then I forgot about it. Life happened. Grief happened. Healing happened. Years passed. What I didn't know was that God was doing a deeper work in me long before I would reconnect with the man who would eventually become my husband. Part 4 of Found in the Margins explores the surprising connection between a forgotten list, a season of personal growth, an old friendship rekindled, and the realization that sometimes God's preparation isn't about finding the right person—it's about becoming the right person.